How was I … Part – VIII

In the month of April or May, 2005 when I was sitting with Gaur Saheb, he casually mentioned to me about one young Paramhamsa Nithyananda (hereafter referred to as Swamiji) having his Ashram in Bidadi, a place near Bangalore, adding that he had attended one of his two day meditation programmes and to him he appears to be an enlightened master. He also told me about another advanced sadhaka, Shri Raj Supe living in Bangalore. One of my friends (Krishna Sahay) had earlier told me about another Guru who also lived in Bangalore and was an upasak (worshipper) of Devi – he could see the past and future of a person and offered solutions to the problems.

At that time there was no talk of me getting a transfer to Bangalore though in my annual transfer proforma I had requested for transfer to that place as my younger daughter (Shruti Singh) was offered a job by Accenture in Bangalore.

It was a pleasant surprise for us that the day my daughter joined in Bangalore (1st June) when we were returning to Mumbai from Lucknow after marriage of elder daughter, on the way we got the news of my transfer to Bangalore. It was a surprise as I did not expect it in the least for the reason that I had not spoken to anyone for my transfer and in normal course it is difficult to get a posting in Bangalore as this is a sought after place in our department.

What happened next was even more surprising! It was my first day in office and a Chartered Accountant appeared before me. When his matter was over, looking at my short beard and attire (white Dhoti and Kurta), he asked if I were interested in spiritual things. When I said yes, he told me that one of his clients is having an Ashram in Bidadi, 35 Kms from Bangalore. I asked him if he was Paramhamsa Nithyananda. He said, yes! Two days later, he brought two books by Swamiji. Looking at the photograph and reading a few lines from the back flap of the book, I felt sensations running throughout my body.

Now this sequence of events cannot be a coincidence – reference by Gaur Saheb about a month back, transfer to Bangalore, first CA appearing before me being a representative of Swamiji and his photograph creating sensation in my body. And next, though not consciously planned that way, we (my family, family of my son-in-law and family of one of my close friends and co-travellor, Shri Satish Kumar) had opportunity to meet him in person on the most aupicious Guru Poornima day and I had the privilege of being the first man to touch his feet that day. The conclusion that he is my Guru and that he is going to help me in my spiritual endeavor in a big way was unmistakable.

That day when we were in the Ashram, we had long chat with Swami Sadanandji, Secretary to Swamiji. He told me how he had been with Osho and Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva for decades and how after having suffered with terminal liver cancer, he came in contact with Nithyanandaji and not only he got cured through his healing but made quick advances spiritually. He also told me that little joy and energy which we feel through strenuous pranayam given by Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva, is no where near what we effortlessly get in a short time after being initiated by Swamiji into “Anand Gandha Meditation”.

Before that in the month of March, we were witnessing a cricket match of our team and a player hit a six. It was heading towards my face. Reflexively my palm came in between and had a huge impact. Because of that I could not do my yogasanas and pranayam for a couple of months.

During this period I also read in one of Osho’s books that yogasanas and pranayam do not help in spiritual advancement. Mungale Sir also told me one day that pranayam is not something which requires to be done, it happens on its own in sadhana.

From every quarter, message was clear, the role of pranayam in my sadhana was over – it had fulfilled its purpose.

At that time Gaur Saheb informed me that he will be coming to the Swamiji's Ashram for an advanced course starting from 3rd August. I found it to be a good opportunity to be with Gaur Saheb for about 6 days – I liked his company immensely. To become eligible for the advanced course, I did the first course (ASP – Anada Sphurana Programme) immediately and enrolled myself for the advanced course.

Events were just unfolding. Gaur Saheb could not make to the course and I did NSP (Nithya Sphurana Programme) and got initiated into Healing as well. His role, perhaps, was just to prompt me to forge ahead!

In ASP they teach the participants functions of each of the seven chakras (energy centres) – what problems (fear, anger, inferiority complex, fantasy etc.) arise if they are low on energy – and give a method of meditation for energizing each one of them. Though most of these methods were shortened versions of methods taken from Tantra Sutra and other ancient traditions by Osho, new thing was that here they told us about the relation between problems, chakras and methods. And this is an attracting feature for an enquiring mind. We were advised to do each of these meditations for three weeks, one after another. Thereafter one may mainly follow method given for energizing Anahat Chakra named as "Mahamantra". It basically involves humming. From my experience with Osho’s methods, I knew that the methods really work.

The ASP was organized in Bangalore by one Shri Madhavan (a small businessman) and advanced disciple of Swamiji – a wonderful man. One could see the happiness and devotion on his face and conduct. And this was infectious.

NSP, a four day programme, was conducted by Swamiji himself. There he took us through seven koshas of the body, namely, Annamay kosha (physical body), Pranamay Kosh (pranik body), Manomay Kosh (mental body) … and Anandmay Kosh (bliss body) using different methods of meditation. It was really intense and wonderful - a life time experience.

Participants could enroll for Healing initiation which was scheduled for next two days. I was not interested in receiving Healing initiation primarily because from the very beginning of my spiritual quest, I was of the view that a seeker should not to work for getting any powers or sidhhies. But then Madhavanji persuaded me to take initiation saying that even if one is not interested in healing others, “Anand Gandha Initiation” given in this course takes one effortlessly to deeper states of meditation and thus immensely helps in one's spiritual evolution.

I got enrolled for the course and got initiated into healing (it was an elaborate Tantric process). The participants were also given a vow to give up drinks and non-vegetarian food. For me it was easy as I had already given up drinks and was not fond of non-vegetarian food either.

The participants were also given spiritual names. The name given to me is “Anand Dharmatman”. I found the name ‘Dharmatman’ to be heavy for me especially when I have no serious regard for the rules of ethics and morality. On my query on the issue, Swamiji remarked “It is not a duty cast, it is my blessing that whatever you do will define Dharma!” I was obviously happy!

To keep the process alive, one was required to do Anand Gandha and Shakti Dharana meditations everyday.

A week or so after the initiation, there was a get together of Healers in Madhavan’s place. Sadanandji was also there. While getting initiated, I did not feel what was expected to be felt by the participants. In Anand Gandha meditation, which I was doing later at home, also I did not have expected kind of experience. I thought that I have failed to get initiated. I shared my feelings with Sadanandji and after holding my fingers for a while he told me that energy was flowing, I stand initiated (some people may not undergo specific experiences) and that I should take to healing.

Just then – perhaps to convince me of the initiation – my wife rang up to say that our daughter is having fever. I told her to give her a homeopathic medicine. On reaching my house, I tried healing my daughter. We were pleasantly surprised to find that very next morning there was no fever and she went to her office. After that a few persons were healed of serious and chronic ailments through me (actual healer is the cosmic energy coming through Swamiji – healers are only his extended hands) and my wife did not have to go to a doctor in last 5 years – healing through me took care of her minor problems.

I may, however, add that it does not work in every case. They say that the illnesses caused by serious karmic offences cannot be cured and that it is to be used as a support to regular treatment and not as a substitute.

Another aspect of this healing is that in this, the healer has only to get connected to Ananda Gandha Chakra remembering Swamiji’s face and put his palm on the specified chakra or problem spot. No shapes or symbols are used and the Healer is not to wish anything. This way the healer does not get karmas of the patient transferred to him unlike Rekey or Pranik Healing.

Hereafter I switched over to the way shown by Swamiji. I also continued visiting other masters and my reverence for them was going up with each passing day.

This was opening of a new chapter in my spiritual journey.

To be contd. …

How was I … Part – VII

Looking at me Guruji (Sadguru Gurunath Vishwanath Mungale – we normally address him as Mungale Sir) addressed me as Prasanna Kumar a few times. I thought, he did not hear my name correctly and said that my name is Swatantra Kumar. He said “No, Prasanna Kumar thheek hai – referring to my smiling countenance”.

As mentioned in earlier posts, I was a practicing meditations (not involving mantra), pranayam and yogasanas with all seriousness. I, however, never prayed or performed pooja or observed any vrata. This was mainly because of my family background (our family followed Arya Samaji traditions) and to some extent the way Osho and Kabir spoke against the ritualistic part of sadhana.

I believed in efficacy of meditations and took the masters as knowledgeable persons (I was time and again overwhelmed by what they said) and some thing more than mere instructors. I had respect for masters but there was no feeling of devotion towards them or the deities.

Seeing that bhakti was missing (Anahat Chakra was dormant), after a while he suddenly asked – “Pooja prarthana karte ho?” I said “No”. He asked me “Kiya karo”. On being asked what to do, he said “kuchcha bhi karo (do anything)”. I sought approval to chant Panchakshara Stotra of Shiva (disregarding a suggestion for chanting of Vishnu Sahasranama which came from Gaur Saheb) as I used to be captivated by its rendition by Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva. He approved and asked me to continue whatever else (yogasanas, pranayam and meditation) I had been doing.

Mungale Sir usually asks every sadhaka to continue with his practices (perhaps makes them more effective by his energy / initiation) and makes small corrections in a subtle manner over a period of time – he patiently waits for the sadhaka to be ready for a change or next step.

I was absolutely ignorant of this part of sadhana (pooja, prarthana). I even did not know where to get text of Panchakshara Strotra. I was, however, quite serious about doing what Guruji asked me to do – that discipline was there. I asked someone and got the text. Being bad in memorizing things, it took me about a month to memorise these five slokas. Till then I continued chanting them – reading from the book. I recited them five times every day in one sitting. No questions arose in my mind in connection with necessity or efficacy of this form of sadhana.

I did not notice anything but my wife told me that she saw a major change in me in a month’s time after I included chanting into my daily routine. It is true that only others close to us can perceive the changes in us. Their perception is real – depend on them.

Gradually I added Prataha Smaran and Shiva Manas Pooja to my daily chanting.

In one of my subsequent visits (I have been going to him every 2 to 3 months), he asked me to hug a mango tree while going for morning walks. In another visit he asked me to feed cows (if there was no such facility – it could be mentally visualized). And in yet another visit he asked me to keep two sticks, one on my office table and another in the room where I meditate. I never felt like asking him ‘why?’. I knew that he can see ahead and if it were necessary, he would have told me. About the need for sticks, he however told me that in my previous life I left my Guru and went back to normal worldly life and that my Guru used to keep a stick like that (he showed me one). He added that these sticks will keep me on right trek. I sincerely did whatever he asked me to do along with all other practices.

A new dimension in sadhana was thus added.

In the month of May, 2005 I had gone to Guruji with Gaur Saheb to give him invitation card for the marriage of my elder daughter (Sweekriti). I had carried a photo album with me. While coming back, Gaur Saheb was glancing through the album and pointing at the photo of Chetna Singh (sister-in-law of my daughter) enquired about her and told me that she has spiritual potential. That girl was having troubled family life – though living in the same house, she stayed away from her husband for about 7 years soon after her love marriage and a case for divorce was already filed in the court – and she had regular quarrels with her mother. I told him all this and expressed opinion that she may not have any such potential though she has done some courses of Art of Living. Gaur Saheb reiterated his view that she has spiritual potential and advised me to invite her to be with me three times for about 3 days each and then take her to Mungale Sir. He added that her life would change.

And as if things were falling in place as destined or Guru Tatwa was at work, she herself came to us thrice in next couple of months and stayed with us for at least three days on each occasion. Then I took her to Mungale Sir. She was adamant and told Guruji that she would not live with her husband under any circumstance. Guruji told me that there is slight clash of aura and if her husband visits him, he would set it right. On the request of Chetna’s mother, he visited Guruji with me saying that he does not believe in any Guru (he used to ridicule Sri Sri Ravishankar whom everyone else in the family was devoted to) and that it is his first and last visit to a Guru. Though Guruji appeared to be just chatting with us – apparently not doing anything to the boy, a miracle happened! Within a fortnight Chetna and her husband went to Malaysia and Singapore on a pleasure trip and after another fortnight they started living together. They fell in love with each other all over again!

This miracle deepened our devotion to Guruji.

Associations with Guruji continues and may continue in the life hereafter. He once affectionately told me “I will go before you. But when it is time for you to go, I will come and take you with me!” What an assurance!!

I will narrate many of our experiences with him in my posts hereafter. But now it is time to advert to Paramhamsa Nithyanandji whom I had fortune to meet in July, 2005.

To be contd. …

How was I … Part – VI

Just when the idea of being with a living master was floating in my mind, I read an article in Times of India in the month of November, 2002 comparing Art of Living (Sri Sri Ravishankarji), Isha Yoga (Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva, Coimbatore) and Siddha Samadhi Yoga (Rishi Prabhakar, Bangalore). In that write-up there was a reference to Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva being surrounded by volunteers with shaved heads. According to the writer, it gave a scary look. The use of the word scary in the article attracted me – I thought the person means business and is not just fooling around.

About a week later, I saw an invitation in TOI for attending an introductory session by Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva in Mumbai itself. I went there and was absolutely floored by the way he spoke and I found glimpses of Osho in his speech. I got hooked! Coming out of the hall, I got myself enrolled for an eight day basic programme (3 hours a day on working days and whole days on Saturday and Sunday) on Pranayam and Meditation starting the following day.

On the very first day, even before we were introduced to Pranayam, I noticed that my tolerance to chilies became nil (till then I was very fond of green chilies). This was the effect of presence (energy) of the master alone as we had not done anything significant on that day. And let me clarify that there was no discussion on food that day. So question of psychological effect also does not arise.

The programme was very well structured and the volunteers continuously helped the participants in correcting postures and processes relating to Pranayam. Towards the end of the course we were initiated into Shunya Meditation (one has only to sit in a comfortable posture for about 15 minutes – nothing is required to be done) through an elaborate Tantric Ritual.

There was an excellent support system as well inasmuch as volunteers helped the participants once every week for next few months in bringing further corrections and refinements in their practices.

In the weekly meetings we were told about the forthcoming programmes from Isha Yoga. After the basic course, next in line was BSP (Bhava Spandana Programme). We were told that this one time (does not add to daily practices) three and half day programme conducted in Coimbatore helps the participants get established in Pranayam and meditation and that after doing this course one is less likely to drop out.

On initial thoughts, I was of the view that let first me do the existing practices well for few months and that this would be too early to go through another course. But then one of my friends (Sri Ashok Kumar Shrivastava) advised me to go for the course as later the Guru himself may not conduct the course. I went by his advice and went to Coimbatore for the course (he was right – later his trained teachers conducted the course). My gullibility helped me again!

It was an intense course and helped many in getting rid of their suppressed feeling and emotions – seated deep in the sub-conscious layers of the mind (for me thing happened long back in 1988 with gibberish). It also evoked a strong and beautiful feeling of love and connectedness (Spandana of Bhava).

In next one year, I did all his courses. These courses included Hatayoga (they are able to teach yoga in two and half days – it is nothing less than a miracle), ‘Inner Engineering Programme’, an advanced course named ‘Samyama’ and a programme named as ‘Vaibhava Shiva’ (a kind of celebration).

I did all the practices in all sincerity. My day used to begin with ‘Vipassana’ (essentially watching one's breath - introduced in ‘Samayama’) followed by Yogasanas and Pranyam. Of course Shunya Meditation twice a day was a must and formed the core of his practices. These practices (except Shunya Meditation) were quite strenuous and alongwith some reading on spiritual matters used to take me over 4 hours everyday.

This took my efforts to a different level – a quantum jump from about an hour a day to over 4 hours a day.

During this period, one of my sisters-in-law (Shikha) was staying with us. She was free as she was searching for a job. She also suffered with asthma. I persuaded her to join the basic course. Effect was miraculous. From next day there was no asthma attack, she lost some weight and her eye sight improved (there was some reduction in number of lense of her specs).

Encouraged by the results in her case and having been persuaded by me, my wife (primarily for reduction of weight) and about a dozen of my friends also did the basic course. My wife did it sincerely for about a year (2004-05). Though she did not loose weight (on the contrary she gained as she relaxed in her food habits a bit thinking that Pranayam will take care of that), she became more content – strong desire to go out and meet friends in the evenings came down drastically – this was a major change.

A year and half later (July 2004) one of my relatives came to us from Allahabad. I had to take her around and so took her to Mumbadevi and Siddhivinayak temples (I had never been there before as there was no such tradition in my family and I had no devotion to deities in temples). I felt some kind of energy in Mumbadevi temple. While she was praying before the deity, I sat for a while in sitting space available in Siddhivinayak temple. There again I experienced peace and some sensation (flow of energy) in my body. I had never experienced any such thing earlier though, as a tourist, I had visited many powerful temples (Pashupatinath, Tirupati, Kashivishwanath, Mahakaal, Dwarika, Somnath etc.).

Next month Shri B P Gaur, an evolved sadhaka, came on transfer to Mumbai. I called on him. There was some fragerance in his chamber. We had a general chat for about 20 minutes. I briefly told him of some of my efforts in the field of meditation and added that I have no experiences which are considered as spiritual experiences. He remarked that he notices changes in me (I had met him for few minutes about a decade or so back). I felt relaxed in his presence.

When I came out of his chamber, I instantaneously forgot his face and there were sensations running throughout my body for next about 24 hours. Only when sensations were over, I remembered his face.

The experience of this satsang was so magnetic that I used to make it point to visit him at least once a month.

Perhaps this sensitivity to feel the energy in temples and in the presence of evolved persons was the result of presence of Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva in my life aided by the practices given by him.

Another way to look at it may be that when, other than the work, most of one’s time is devoted to spiritual practices, in absence of attention paid to them, old sanskaras (anagrams) of the mind relating to desires and reactions get less intense and become weak – mental layer becomes a little transparent and one gets faint glimpses of self.

But, of course, till this stage I was part of crowd of disciples whether it was Osho, preceptor from Vipassana or Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva. There was no one-to-one contact with the masters.

They say when disciple is ready Guru appears. Six months after this (February, 2005), one day I was sitting with Gaur Saheb and I asked him – “why is it that when I sit with him, I feel some energy which I never felt in the presence of exalted masters like Osho and Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva?” He feigned ignorance and told me that there is Siddha Guru, Mungale Sir, in Kolhapur who may, perhaps, have the answer! He asked me if I were interested, he would take me with him to Guruji that weekend. This was, perhaps, his way of taking me to my Guru. He took Guruji’s permission on phone and took me to him.

Another chapter in my life thus opened!

To be contd. …

Ultimate Purusharth – Living master is a must

I had been in Bangalore in connection with a Seminar on 7th and 8th October. Since 9th and 10th were holidays, I utilized these days for being with Shri Supeji, Swami Virajeshwaraji and Pramhamsa Nithyanandji and attending a Griha Pravesh ceremony for the flat purchased by Shri Satish Kumar – a close friend.

During our (me, my wife and Satishji) visit, among other things, perhaps in response to aversion which my wife expressed to crowded places and long waits in queues in temples or for meeting gurus, Shri Supeji told us about the value of patience in sadhana. He referred to the way disciples of Satyasai Baba wait for years in the hope that some day he will bless them by touching or talking to them, just giving a glance or even by passing through the passage in front of them!

In this connection Satishji told me about the way one of his friend (Ms Rama – residing with her husband in Abu Dhabi – her house is highly charged with guru’s energy), a long time ardent devotee of Satyasai Baba, got his blessings after years of wait. This time also she was waiting with invitation card of her daughter’s marriage in her hands for about a week. This is what she said in response to an e-mail from me :

“Yes, it was indeed a great moment & I feel very fortunate to have Swami’s Dharshan (eye to eye), to talk to him & to touch his feet. Words are inadequate to express my feelings. Infact I feel, now Swami has entrusted me with greater responsibility. I take that moment as a blessing by Swami, to go a step ahead in my spiritual journey.

Infact Myself & Ramesh used to tell Satish Bhaisahab, that we should go to Puttaparthy with you, so that we may get to sit right in front, to have Swamis Dharshan nicely.

I am continuing with my prayers which I normally do, and of course, every time I sit to pray I only get the vision of what I experienced.”

Mainly addressing my wife that day, Shri Supeji also narrated a story of a saint who got married as per the wishes of his parents. The saint always used to remain immerged in his prayers and reading scriptures in the light of a deepak (earthen lamp). One day because of a storm, deepak got extinguished and he became aware of it as he could not read in the darkness. Soon someone came and lighted the deepak. The saint looked at the lady and asked who she was. She said “We were married 20 years back and I am your wife”. The saint was surprised and asked “how come I have never seen you before?” The lady replied “actually I used to light deepak before it was dark, fill it up with oil from time to time and keep the food by your side when it was time to take food. You never noticed it. Today because of storm, deepak was extinguished and, therefore, I had to come and you noticed me.” He said though it will appear to be impertinent but may I ask your name? This narration, perhaps, is a response to the way my wife takes care of me and has helped me in every conceivable way in my spiritual pursuits. It may, perhaps, also be an indication of the way events may unfold hereafter in the years to come - a peep into the future!

Last time I had been to Swami Virajeshwaraji, it was the day before Guru Poornima. He asked me to join in Guru Poornima celebrations as well. But that day I had planned to go to Nithyanandji and, therefore, did not go Swamiji. I was feeling bad about it and thought that he would be unhappy at my impertinence. This time, in the afternoon, I was with Swamiji. He was at his affectionate best and in the end made my day by saying that he feels happy whenever I visit him. I once again understood that gurus are too big to get affected by such impertinences of ignorant and childish disciples! We only miss something by not accepting their offer – they are unaffected!

He also shared with us one of his experiences with his Guru. Once (after he experienced state of Samadhi) Virajeshwaraji had an urge to work for spread of knowledge of Sanskrit as most of our treasured knowledge is in that language. He worked for a few months and wrote a small book for that purpose and placed it before his Guru. The Guru eulogized his effort and intentions for a few minutes and then asked if he wanted to be free (attain Moksha) in this life. Virajeshwaraji said “yes”. Then Guruji explained that this work will not be accomplished in one life and that he would have to come back again and again to finish his agenda. Virajeshwaraji dropped his idea then and there.

This is a trap in which many a great saints fall. On getting a glimpse of Samadhi (which is a huge experience and appears to be ultimate – reaching state of self realization or enlightenment), they are detracted from the main task of their further evolution and take others with them. Instead they branch of into areas of social service, creating and managing establishments and fall.

About two years back I had shown photograph of Nithyanandji to Virajeshwaraji. Looking at it Virajeshwaraji said that he is good but will slip because of his engagement in the activities relating to management of the Ashram. And this is what appears to have come true.

This again brings into focus the need of a living master. But for timely advice of his Guru, Virajeshwaraji would have got engaged in the work relating to spread of Sanskrit which can very well be managed by many a non realized souls.

In the modern language, it can said that one needs to stick to one’s core area of competence.

Once a friend of mine asked Supeji if he could join a NGO after retirement. Answer was an emphatic ‘NO’. The reason being that activities like these gives boost to one’s ego – that one is serving a great cause – which is never good.

Next day after receiving blessings of Nithyanandji, I was sitting with Satishji in his house. After the rituals relating to Griha Pravesh were over (Shri Supeji had been there meditating for about an hour), Satishji narrated to me a story. A girl after getting married was talking on phone to her mother telling her that in this house everyone eats basi roti (stale food). Mother-in-law heard it. After that she took care that everything was freshly cooked. After a few days she again overheard the conversation between bahu and her mother. She was again telling that in this house everyone eats basi roti. When it happened a few times, mother-in-law asked bahu “beta we prepare fresh food every time then why are you telling your mother that we eat basi roti. She said “I am telling what I understand and if you wish any further clarification ask my mother”. It was an unresolved riddle and, therefore, mother-in-law asked her samadhin for clarification. What mother of the girl said is significant. She said that your family is well to do in this life because of your past good deeds but you are not doing anything in this life – merely enjoying the fruits of your past deeds. So the food which you eating is basi – being consequence of your past deeds.

Many a well to do householders ascribe their affluent state to their intelligence and hard work – become egoists and look down upon others who are not that well placed. They remain oblivious of the fact that what they are getting in the external world is unfolding of Prarabdha and that their Punya Karmas are getting exhausted.

One needs to work for one’s spiritual evolution – the ultimate Purusharth.

How was I put … Part - V

Picking up thread from where it was left a few weeks back – on my transfer, we shifted in a flat in Ahmedabad from the bungalow in Indore in April, 1992. Consequently the meditation involving movement – like Nataraj Meditation – got dropped (the need for such meditations may not have been there any more).

While at Indore, I had a (mild) wish to experience Maun (silence) for a few days but did not find it practicable in our usual setting. While in Ahmedabad, I met one of my batch mates (Shri O G Ganvir) who was and continues to be associated with Vipassana propagated by Goenkaji from Igatpuri. He told me that this 10 day meditation camp requires the participants to observe Maun for 9 days and that it was soon happening in Ahmedabad itself. I joined the camp with Shri Ganvir in October / November, 1993 – the wish got fulfilled.

Vipassana is an arduous course inasmuch as it requires about 11 hours of meditations each day. Each sitting is of one hour and one is supposed not to make smallest of adjustment in one’s posture during this duration. I used to feel pain in my back after about half an hour which went on increasing with time. In this form of meditation, one is supposed to observe the sensations, pain and pleasure in various limbs of one’s body. One is also supposed to remain a spectator of every thought, vision or experience – not attaching any significance to them and take them as mere play of mind. As the course prgresses one is supposed to feel the flow of energy in the body from head to toe and back to the head. These prcesses help remove blockages in the flow of Prana.

Another important aspect of this meditation, in my view, is that it makes one know it experientially that pain and pleasure are transitory. What actually happens is that when it is time for the participants to feel pain (after about 40 minutes), the preceptor tells the participants that it is “Anitya” (impermanent or transitory). When a session is over and one moves around in a five minute break and sits again for another session, actually there is no pain. Through repeated experience one thus understands that the pain is actually transitory.

Osho used to say that when one is in pain, whole body becomes conscious and comes alive. Any thought repeated in that (vulnerable) state seeps into deeper layers of one’s mind (perhaps it creates the bio memory by penetrating each cell of the body) – the idea that pain is transitory thus sits deep inside through Vipassana. This understanding gets automatically recalled (like a ‘pop-up’ in computer) without intervention of the conscious mind (it is the experience of everyone of us that conscious mind is not a useful ally in extreme situations when one is gripped by strong emotions) and helps one to pass through difficult situations without being overtaken by them. This ‘pop-up’ is a result of happening of a ‘click’ or ‘initiation’ (this may happen through a master, shastra or one's observation) as Paramhamsa Nithyanandji calls it. The ‘clicks’ or ‘initiations’ like this, are crucial to one’s spiritual evolution.

And as luck would have it, this experience stood me in good stead when immediately after this camp I had to endure severe pain while suffering from TB. May be, the existence or Guru Tatwa planned it that way. Though, I was in severe pain for months together (with cramps in the neck and other parts of the body), nobody talking to me on phone could make out that I was that serious. Being empowered by Vipassana in the first place and getting opportunity to observe severe pain immediately thereafter (TB was detected within few days of my coming from the camp) perhaps was a life time opportunity for me to meditate (I was on leave for more than 6 months at that time in the year 1994) and develop body awareness (called Kaya Smriti by Bhagwan Buddha) – perhaps one of the first steps to see oneself as distinct from one’s body and thus drop identification with the body and mind.

Since I could not sit and meditate during that period, I became a member of an Osho Library and started listening to Osho’s audio cassettes. Apart from getting clarity at conscious level (in this period, among others, I listened to 96 lectures on Ashtavakra Geeta – a profound text on Gyan Yoga), listening to Osho was a very effective way of meditating.

During this period, I also, sometimes, tried Osho’s Vipassana meditation where one is expected to be aware of everything around (sounds from every source; touch of air; breathing; texture and coolness or otherwise of pillow, bed sheet etc.) without concentrating on anything in particular – Osho used to call it as ‘diffused awareness’. This could be done lying down in the bed.

Slowly I recovered from illness. I continued listening to audio cassettes / reading Osho’s books and occasionally doing above mentioned meditation. I also continued to observe impulses / vibrations / sensations caused in my body by the emotional reactions (for details refer an earlier article titled as “Descend from the mind – inhabit the body”) but did not take to regular one hour meditations I had been doing previously. May be this was the time to pause.

In June, 1997 I got transferred to Mumbai and apart from above mentioned practices, I used to go for morning walk by the side of Arabian Sea in Priyadarshini Park just opposite our residences.

In an earlier article I had referred to one Swami Anand Gautam Ji. In January, 2000 he invited me to attend a Meditation Camp named as “Vigyan Bhairav Tantra” in Indore. While inviting, in all humility, he said that my joining the programme will add grace to it. This three day programme was aimed at giving the participants taste of some of the 112 methods of meditations given by Shiva to Parvati. I was reluctant to go as I felt that I have already tried many of them and dropped them under the instructions of Osho himself. He surely sensed it and, therefore, reminded me a few times and thereafter moved a trump card by asking me send my programme details so that he can arrange for my tickets. I was bowled over by this offer and went to Indore.

I sincerely participated in all the meditations but in the gap between two meditations I used to feel that it is of no use and that I am wasting time. At the conclusion of the programme, as is usual in Osho’s programmes, everybody celebrates by joining in a dance. I also joined and was with Maa Amrit Sadhana from Osho Ashram. I felt a little better. Swamiji gave me some money and a sari for my wife.

Next morning, back in Mumbai, as usual, I went to the park for walk. But that day I had no inclination to look up and instead was looking only a few steps ahead at the ground – the way Buddhists do their walking meditation. At the end of it, I felt like sitting on a bench by the seashore for a while. Having sat, I felt like simultaneously observing the touch of the air on my face, cool touch of the bench, sounds of ocean waves, crows, vehicles, persons talking to each other etc. – not concentrating on anything in particular – meditation described as ‘diffused awareness’ by Osho. The setting was ideal. Thereafter it became everyday routine for next three years and the period of sitting gradually increased from 15 minutes to almost an hour.

Much later, I understood that this was grace of Osho working through Swami Anand Gautam Ji that put me on to the path again. While on the issue I may add that all these years, since I left Indore, Swamiji used to send me a calendar, a magazine and a book or cassette on the New Year day. I used to find their contents appropriate at that stage of my sadhana. All guru’s grace!

Just when I came back from the meditation camp and started meditating as mentioned above, I started reading Osho’s lectures on Buddha. These lectures are contained in 12 volumes of a book titled as “Uss Dhamma Sanatano”. There were repeated suggestions in these volumes to the need for a living master. He said that we interpret the teachings of masters on the basis of our experience in life whereas the master is speaking from a different level of experience. There is huge gap. While reading, we selectively pick up the teachings to strengthen our own beliefs instead of breaking them and become free from bondage. A living master will not allow such misinterpretation and keeps the disciple on the right path.

The idea to seek a living master stood planted.

To be contd. … …

Pilgrim of the SKY

Shri Raj Supe accompanied his Gurudev Shri Vithal Ramanuj Ji on his tour to Europe a few years back. While on tour, Supeji was writing his observations and experiences in a diary on day-to-day basis. The tour culminates in birth of a Yoga named by Gurudev as SKY. In the form of a book, the writer shares these with us.

I had the privilege of reading the manuscript of the book before it was printed. On a cursory glance one may find the narrative to be a compilation of day-to-day mundane activities (making arrangements for a programme or meeting or narration of interaction with some devotees) interspersed with some insights on spiritual matters.

But if one goes through it from the eye of a seeker, one would find the meaning of Satsang (sitting with a master) and how a disciple is uplifted by the presence of his master. As Kabir says, a guru is like a Kumhar (earthen pot maker) who beats the wet clay pot from outside and supports it from the inside to make it smooth and strong. Through this book, one can see that happening to Supeji.

I had tears in my eyes on number of occasions and sensation at the Ajna Chakra signifying transforming power of the narrations.

I could relate to most of the teachings contained in the book. For example –

"You keep quite, let him speak. This silence after Japa, Nama etc. is mandatory".
"Music makes body, mind and intellect rhythmic. Nothing else has that power".
"Between every two acts, learn to provide a break so that the divine will can come to the fore".

After reading the book, now I make it a point to just sit (maintain silence) for a few minutes after Japa listening to sound of the silence. While in Shavasana after light Yogasanas, I was playing some bhajan CD earlier also and experienced what Gurudev observed in his talks. In that state (shavasana) the bhava of bhajans enters deeper layers of the mind and perhaps causes transformation – it is something like Yoganidra.

The preface of the book is written by Shri B. P. Gaur, an advanced sadhaka, which has been appreciated by Gurudev himself. On going through it, Gurudev observed "Thakur Sitaramdas Omkarnath wrote the classic 'Naad Leelamrit' and great Mahamahopadhyaya Gopinath Kaviraj of Benares wrote a preface for the book. When Thakur read the scholar's preface, he said: My book is the body, but his preface is the very heart of the book." This, Vitthal Maharaj said, can also be said of Pilgrim of the Sky.

The book, I am sure will greatly benefit the sadhakas.

Published by Leadstart Publishing Pvt Ltd, 1 Level, Trade Centre, Bandra Kurla Complex , Bandra (East), Mumbai – 400 051 (Ph. : 022 – 40700804; email : info@leadstartcorp.com; www. leadstartcorp.com; www.frogbooks.net).

Big Bappa

My grateful and humble expression on a story (Big Bappa) written by Shri Raj Supe, a master in the lineage of Baba Sitaramdas Omkarnath, who propagates easy and certain way for one’s spiritual evolution.

Children often find the existence around full of wonder. As we grow, the feeling of wonder slowly but surely evaporates. But still each one of us has some undifferentiated yearning to express oneself and figure out something from this existence. This yearning, in the case of almost every one of us, gets suppressed by the indoctrination from the society which teaches us ambition and competition. A few, however, manage to keep the yearning alive which finds expression in the form of art or leads to inner exploration.

Shri Raj Supe is one such exception and Big Bappa is his expression which combines both – an expression of devotion (which came as a consequence of pursuit of spiritual path) and art. I got the book from Shri B P Gaur and went through the story a fortnight back when I was in Kolhapur.

This is a story of an artist born in the family of sculptors who, as a child, learnt the art of creating Ganesha idols from his father. The hero of the story had that urge to express himself. Though he was sent to study in a professional institution, he continued to expresses himself in unconventional and non-conformist ways – not appreciated by most. He created Ganesha idols out of clay – keeping them vulnerable to disintegration and re-creation like everything else in the existence. The story gives the reader an insight as to how the external form of worship (idol worship) of a seeker may transform him into gradually internalising the process and dissolving the worshipper into the worshipped.

The narrative absorbed me thoroughly and after a couple of Chapters I had tears rolling over my cheeks quite often though apparently the story was not that moving – it has some mysterious (may be transforming) force!

Truly amazing!

Published by Leadstart Publishing Pvt Ltd, 1 Level, Trade Centre, Bandra Kurla Complex , Bandra (East), Mumbai – 400 051 (Ph. : 022 – 40700804; email : info@leadstartcorp.com; www. leadstartcorp.com; www.frogbooks.net).