How I was put ... Part - II

In the summer months of 1985, we had gone to Allahabad, my wife’s place. I knew that elder brother of one of my batch mates was a disciple of Osho and that he was working as a lecturer in a degree college in Rae Bareilly, a town near Allahabad. I asked my wife that for a couple of days when she is with her parents, I will go to Rae Bareilly and learn meditations from him. She readily permitted me.

There, I stayed with brother of my batch mate and became a part of a small group of disciples of Osho meditating together every day. When I was leaving, they advised me that it would be much better if I go to Osho Ashram, Pune and join a five day meditation programme in July that year during Guru Poornima celebrations. While back to Nagpur, I asked my wife and she not only permitted me to go but also accompanied me to Pune with two little daughters and her younger sister. My sister-in-law participated in the meditations as well. There used to be five sessions of meditations [Dynamic, Nadabrahma, Nataraj, Kundalini and Darvesh (a sufi practice)] of one hour duration each.

All of us liked serene environment of the Ashram. My wife appreciated the expression of tranquility and love (devoid of any signs of passion) on the faces of the inmates / participants, particularly the foreigners while I seriously participated in all the meditation programmes.

Back home, I continued with my meditations, particularly the Dynamic and Nadabrahma meditations. I also, sometimes, used to try some other methods of meditations from Tantra Sutra like gazing into the clear winter sky, being conscious when one is on the verge of falling asleep, chanting “oooooooo…..” before going to sleep, a method relating to sexual intercourse etc. Within a few months, Chinese food was no more acceptable to my body – if I took it, I had to vomit. Another few months, and I developed aversion to cigarettes. If I had a smoke, I will have a bad taste and feel roughness in my mouth. So I had no option but to give up Chinese food and cigarettes. At that time, I did not know the reason.

Before that, on the advice of one of our senior colleagues, I started taking my children to a Homeopath (following classical system with long list of Do’s and Don’ts) for their normal problems like vomiting, loose motions, fever etc. I found that it acts much faster than the allopathic system of medicine. When I went to the same doctor with my problems, he refused to give me medicine unless I gave up all disagreeable items including drinks from my diet. I was not yet ready for it. Like others, at that time, I also used to feel that it is for the doctor to improve our system so that we can enjoy all goods things in life.

While on the issue of diet, I would like to mention what Osho used to say. He said, every animal instinctively knows what to eat and what not to eat and you have to ask me for that! The nature has given taste buds and smelling power to enable every creature to decide on food items. But human beings ignore the body signals [body adversely reacts to cigarette, alcohol, chilies, milk (after the age of two and half years) etc. but ignoring these signals we start and continue to force intake of such substances] – bio intelligence is thus suppressed and crippled by the mind which is driven by imitation and information input from parents, media (advertisements), researchers / doctors (their findings go on changing – many such reports are false and are manipulated at the instance of corporates) etc. Consequently, the body stops reacting and one foolishly believes as if one’s body is strong and it can enjoy and digest everything. This is one of the principle causes of failure of vital organs in human beings (as opposed to wild animals).

When one takes to meditations, the mind does no more have overbearing power and if one observes bio-signals (power of observation stands enhanced by meditations) and respects them, the bio intelligence is revived. In this state, the body may violently react to disagreeable substances – it is an attempt of the body to cleanse itself of the harmful substances (it is a strength and not weakness of the body). One then knows what is not good for the body and what not to eat. The respect for the body and enhanced awareness of its signals effortlessly leads one to abstain from disagreeable substances. One no more tortures this body for taste or wrong / motivated inputs from the outside.

While leaving Nagpur for Agra on transfer in the year 1986, a senior politician made a complaint against me. This made me determined to investigate the cases of biggest and most influential assessees only. I worked relentlessly and in due course (about five years), I was considered an ace investigator by my bosses and the desire for recognition and appreciation, which everyone has, got satisfied. One chain [desire for appreciation (as a measure of self worth) which makes one bother as to what others think of one] was thus broken. Complaint got turned into a great blessing.

In Agra, I suffered with skin infection and went to a renowned Homeopath (with modern outlook and not too bothered on following a diet regime). On taking the medicine, I used to have large number of painful boils with pus every month. This process is considered good by the Homeopaths as it results in release of toxins from the body. I continued to suffer for about 10 months and at the end of it the Homeopath gave up (not ‘I’) and on his advice I had to take strong injections of antibiotics to suppress the infection. In this period I could not meditate for various reasons [excessive workload in office, house with small rooms (Osho’s methods require bigger space) etc.].

Thereafter in the year 1987, on promotion, I got transferred to Meerut (I wanted to be there as I had bought a house there) but could not join there as the officer, I was to relieve, got his transfer order cancelled. I thus landed in Indore and got to live in a CPWD bungalow with large size halls and lawn. We had limited furniture and there was enough space for meditations (particularly Nataraj Meditation which involving dance) and play of my children. I took to the meditations with regularity and with all seriousness. The existence (Guru) arranges whatever one needs on this path.

In the beginning of 1988, my father-in-law, just about 48 years of age developed throat cancer. He was taking some Homeopathic medicine. But we forced him to go to Tata Memorial Hospital in Mumbai. They first treated him with Radiotherapy. After a brief illusion of successful treatment, it resurfaced and he had to be operated upon (Finally died in December that year). I and my wife often used to take him for treatment and check up to Mumbai.

While traveling in local bus to the Hospital and back in Mumbai, I used to attempt some methods of meditations from Tantra Sutra. For few days I tried a method which involves visualization of light in your heart which is spreading in the entire body. Another method involved visualization of darkness in the heart which is spreading in the entire body. These appeared to be contrary (light being sign of energy and life whereas the darkness being sign of peace and death) and made me aware that I may be attempting methods which may be in conflict with each other.

At this time, being in the Hospital everyday became quite heavy for me to bear. At that time, I got nominated for a five week training course in Lucknow. If I wanted, I could have got it cancelled. But internally I wanted to run away. I sent my sister-in-law and children to Mumbai to be with my wife and escaped to Lucknow. There, I continued with my meditations and wrote to Osho about my confusion on trying out a number of methods. He advised me to regularly do Nadabrahma Meditation and take to Gibberish and Vipassana, if I could do them as well. This is what he got communicated to me (letter dated Sept. 25, 1988):

“… to continue with nadabrahma meditation, but not with any of the other you are doing. Instead, before going to sleep, do gibberish for half an hour – that is, express all your thoughts and emotions, all the chaos and craziness of the mind, in nonsense sounds. Let your gestures be part of it too, for example shaking of head, waving of arms. Really throw everything out. Then keeping silent, lie down and go to sleep. In the morning, when you wake up, do vipassana for half an hour – sitting silently, watching each in-breath, each out-breath, see the thoughts come but just let them go by, don’t become involved with them…just be the watcher”

In the year 1988, when he responded to my letter, probably on the day of receipt of my letter itself (I got reply in about 7 days), he had millions of disciple from all over the world. I was surprised to get a quick response to my letter. But this is how Guru works. Genuine questions reach the Guru and get answered!

I started accordingly. After a few weeks, while doing Gibberish, I felt as if my mother is before me. I put my fingers in her collar bones and tore her apart (she used to scold and punish us when we were children). This provided release to my suppressed anger and violence. Immediately my anger came down very very substantially. On another occasion, I felt as if I am surrounded by ghosts (In my childhood, I used to take food for my father late in the evening by a road that passed by the side of a Banyan tree. It was said that ghosts live on that tree. A dead body of a murdered student of our college was also recovered from a field by the side of that road. I used to pass with fear though this road frequently) and I was trembling with fear. At that time a small self luminous body of Osho (size of a thumb) came and sat in my heart and from there he said “this is meditation – no harm will come to you – continue”. Armed with this assurance, I soon chased away all the ghosts. From that day my fear and anxiety also came down drastically.

Though I did not take Deeksha (initiation) from Osho (as it involved change of dress to that of a Sanyasi and wearing a Mala with his photograph even in office), when I needed him, he came and helped. After receipt of instructions from him, in a few weeks, my life was transformed (nothing much was happening before that). May be, I was initiated through that communications. It thus appears, form is not that material, it is the intent and thirst – seekership – that matters.

Around that time only, in my dreams, I saw Sheerdi ke Saibaba and another saint whom I had not known or seen before. On enquiry I came to know that he was Gajanan Maharaj of Shegaon. I thus understood the truth of what scriptures say – that even the Gurus who are no more in their physical forms and to whom a seeker is not even devoted, come and bless the seeker.

To be contd. …

How I was put on to the Path and got connected to the Gurus

I come from a family of Arya Samajis who do not believe in Idol Worship and visiting temples. They believe in Homa and Mantras particularly the Gayatri Mantra. Though we knew Gayatri Mantara, we did not chant it. My knowledge of scriptures was almost zero except knowing story of Rama which we learnt from seeing Rama Leela in our village. We use to look forward to it as it was our important annual source of entertainment. We had also heard stories of Raja Harischandra, Prahalad, Mahabharata,Panchtantra etc., here and there, but never read any scriptures as such.

A few traits of my personality I was endowed with include the strength to bear pain, perseverance and will power. At the same time I was easily swayed by the suggestions, others made – was considered as a gullible person. Besides, I have a weak physical constitution and was afraid of situations which could involve physical assault .

Each of these traits helped me in my spiritual quest in a number of ways. For example, in the year 1970 I met with an accident in which my left foot got seriously injured – my little finger was uprooted and was merely hanging by the skin on one side. I heard the doctor say to my friends that it is risky to put stitches to join the finger and that it needed to be removed. Otherwise there was chance of gangrene in the foot. I said “no” (as I had a childhood experience where my mother had picked up cut little figure of left hand from the ground and put it in place and bandaged with powdered sugar and ghee, without any stitches, and it healed) and asked him to put stitches. He did not have local anesthesia and wanted to give me a general anesthesia. Fearing that under general anesthesia, he may remove my finger without my knowledge, I asked him to put stitches without that. I could bear it.

As a student, I always felt that I am not intelligent enough and that I had to go through same matter or solve same problems in mathematics and science a number of times before I understood them and my speed at solving problems was and continues to be slow. Further problem was that I could not concentrate on a subject for more than two hours at a time. I had to make up for these perceived deficiency with perseverance.

Later in the year 1972 when I was studying in Engineering, I used to get headache everyday and I used to take aspirin for that. After a few months, I thought that I cannot go on taking medicine like this for ever and decided to stop it. I have never since then taken any medicine for headache or any antibiotic for cold and cough, though both these problems attacked me quite frequently and with severity for many years.

As for being gullible, I easily accepted suggestions of others even on crucial issues like selection of a course for studies, taking up exams etc. and went by that. It helped me to become successful at various stages of my studies and career. But for acceptance of these suggestions, I could have missed many an opportunity like admission to Roorkee University, getting into IRS etc. Later this trait also helped me switch over from one form of spiritual practice to another with ease and wonderful results.

Coming back to spiritual pursuits, in the year 1989, my younger brother committed suicide and I was asked by my uncle to read Bhagwad Geeta as we did not believe in performing normal rituals with any faith. Of course, as a formality, some minimum rituals like collecting the remains and immersing them in Ganga were performed. I read Hindi translation of Bhagwad Geeta at that time but it did not interest me much.

In 1980, I decided to marry and went to Mumbai to see a girl. Looking, perhaps, at my weak physical constitution, mother of the girl declined to show us (my sister and a close friend were with me) the girl. Since we had booked our return journey to Nagpur after a few days, my friend suggested that we can use this time for visiting Pune. While in Pune, my friend wanted to go and listen to lecture from Osho (he was inclined towards spiritual quest from quite an early age). But not being sincere in our desire, we became a little late in reaching for the lecture and found the gates closed. After a while we were ushered in to have a small guided tour of the Ashram. We saw some books but we found them to be quite expensive (Rs. 50 to 60). Somehow, I bought a small book costing Rs. 2.

This first book of Osho which I read in the 1980 was titled as ‘Satya ki Khoj’ (search for truth). What made an indelible impression on me, which helped me in my quest all along, was a discussion in that book on the fact that before one can tread the path of realising the truth, one needs to recognise chains and prison which confine one. One is unable to break free from chains and prison as long as these are mistaken for ornaments and home. Though I was impressed and overwhelmed by the contents of the book, it did not propel me into reading more books of Osho at that time.

I do not know why but thereafter a question arose in my mind that though we call ourselves as Hindus, but what does it signify? I asked a few friends, they asked me to read some literature of Swami Vivekananda. I bought a few his books, namely, Karm Yoga, Patanjal Yoga Darshan, Raj Yoga, Bahkti Yoga, Dharm Rahasya etc. I liked them but they did not bring about any desire to read more or follow the spiritual path. I also read commentary of Mahatma Gandhi on Geeta and his famous book “My experiments with truth" and something on Ram Charit Manas by Pt. Ram Kinkar Upadhyaya with the same result. In the meantime, I got married in November, 1981. My father-in-law used to read some books by Osho. While coming back from Allahabad to Nagpur (my place of posting), to read something on the way (to pass time), I used to pick up one of those books. Names of two books I still remember - “Prabhu Mandir ke Dwar Par” and “Ankhon Dekhi Saanch”. Though I liked these books but if the book was left half read on the way, I did not read the rest.

Time passed by and in the year 1982, my bosses became displeased with me and consequently the work environment in the office was quite negative. My reaction to these happenings was extreme to the extent that I started seriously thinking of murdering sons of the officer concerned (but fear and weak contitution kept me in check). In the house also when my wife reacted to my touching her here and there without regard to time and place, I used to get seriously annoyed. Though I did not think that there was anything wrong with me – I considered anger (irritation) and fear (anxiety) as normal (since it is experienced by everyone around) – the fact was that I was suffering – the ground was getting prepared.

In March, 1983, my boss (very learned man with vast knowledge of scriptures) asked me if I was interested in going to an exhibition of Osho books – he was interested in having a look at his commentary on Bhagwad Geeta (he had read practically all other commentaries on Geeta). I had no option but to say 'yes'. We went together. Looking at Osho’s exposition of one of the Slokas of Geeta where he had some doubt, he was so impressed that he purchased all the parts of the commentary. It was too expensive for. While looking around I glanced at a set of Osho’s commentary on a set of five Upnishads – Kathopnishad, Kaivalaya Upnishad, Adhyatm Upnishad, Sarva Sar Upnishad and Atm Pooja Upnishad. While going through commentary of Mahatma Gandhi on Geeta, I had noticed some * marks on some Slokas and at the bottom of the page, names of some Upnishads were mentioned. I thought Upnishads may be something great as some of Slokas of Geeta are taken from / common with them. This set was also relative inexpensive, priced at Rs. 250. I, thus, purchased this set of Upnishads.

Back home, I started reading Kathopnishad. First lecture is on the conversation between Nachiketa and his father. I did not like it, as at that time, I was averse to teachings in the form of stories – the way Puranas put it. I, however, persisted and got hooked from the next lecture (I felt the same way with my text books where first chapter on definitions or discussion on whether it was science or arts did not interest me). I was so absorbed into its contents that I was reading it all the time, whenever I was free, in the house and could not even attend to office files which I used to bring to my house because of heavy workload in office in the month of March.

Thereafter, I continued reading a few more Upnishads and Osho’s lectures on Kabeer, Meera, Geeta, Tantra Shutra (a set of book on 112 methods of meditations told by Shiva to Parvati) etc. By this time, office environment became normal but while at home, most of the time I was reading (time for chit chat drastically came down). This gave rise to reactions from my wife though we continued to enjoy movies, parties etc., as before. Apart from reactions to my touching her off and on without considering the situation, this became another point of discord between us.

While reading, time and again, I used to get overwhelmed by the profundity of what was expressed by Osho in his lectures. I had compelling urge to share this profound knowledge and tried to share it with my wife (she is exceptionally intelligent). She was not interested in such inputs but sometimes, she would condescend to listen reluctantly. Later when she perceived my actions to be inappropriate, she would often retort, referring to the high spiritual fandas from Oshos’s lectures which I used to share with her – aap baatein to aisee aisee karate hain aur harkatein yeh hain aapki – what is the use of all this when it does not show in your conduct. This used to hurt me deeply. Our reactions were so intense that sometimes fleeting thoughts of ending life crossed our minds.

But one saving grace with both of us was that we did not carry these strong negative emotions for long. We used resolve them in few minutes or hours and start enjoying togetherness again (she was far better equipped than me to become normal soon on account of her great emotional strength which in turn depends on one's level of consciousness) – as for me, my extreme interest in sex helped me patch up early.

In a situation like this once, she was trying to patch up and while doing that she came and lied over me. I was so angry that I wanted to teach her a lesson, put some metal pressure on her so that she mends her ways and, therefore, did not want to patch up early. I pushed her aside by my elbow and she fell from the bed in a narrow space between the wall and the bed. She was pregnant at that time and anything could have happened. Still I did not relent. Very next morning I had to go to Mumbai for some training course for a few days and, away from her, I had time and space to seriously reflect on my conduct specially in view of my recently acquired knowledge of scriptures.

This way, over a period of time (incident narrated above became a proverbial last straw on the camel’s back), I became acutely aware of huge gulf between my spiritual knowledge and my reactions, it became very clear to me that I needed to do something with my reactions and that understanding through the conscious mind alone will not help. With Osho’s teachings, I further understood that only regular practice of meditations would help.

I decided to take to meditations in the year 1985. It is thus that my spiritual quest formally began (in this life).

To be contd…..

Spiritual practice from an authentic source – finding a Guru

Guru Tatwa (element), consciousness, life or existence is a mystery that cannot be resolved but only experienced. I am a beginner on the path. This article is an attempt to share with fellow travelers my limited understanding of what Shastras and evolved one’s have said and what little I have experienced so far in my quest in so far as it relates to finding a path (spiritual practice) and a Guru.

As for the Gurus, Guru Geeta (conversation between Shiva and Parvati) speaks of seven kinds of Gurus :

Soochak Guru – one who imparts worldly knowledge – science, economics, literature, art, medicine etc.,

Vachak Guru – one who imparts knowledge relating to Dharma and Adharma, Varna, Asharm, scriptures etc.,

Bodhak Guru – one who initiates a disciple in Mantras like Panchakshari mantra and tells him the way to self realization,

Nishiddha Guru – one who gives mantras for mohan, maran, vashikaran etc. – such Gurus need be avoided.

Vihit Guru – one who tells that the world is impermanent and is abode of sorrows and shows the path of Vairagya,

Karnakhya Guru – one who frees the disciple from worldly suffering by making him experience oneness of everything through Mahavakyas like ‘Tatwamasi’, and

Param Guru – one who roots out all doubts and destroys the illusion of birth, death and fear – one meets such a Guru as a result of Punya Karmas of many births.

Now, out of the above mentioned Gurus, which kind of a Guru one would feel connected to is a complex question. It may depend upon factors like one’s Sanchit (accumulated) Karmas, efforts made for inner exploration in one’s past lives and the lineage of Gurus, if any, one belongs to and, of course, one’s experiences in this life. Everyone being at different level of spiritual evolution, will feel connected to different kind of Gurus. The spiritual practice which will suit one would also largely depend on these factors. There is no way of knowing it on one’s own. Only a seer (Guru) can tell what is appropriate for one. But then again one is confounded by the question, how to find a Guru?

Mind of many a person finds this as an excuse for not doing anything for one’s evolution. But this question should not inhibit one from picking up a spiritual practice. On this path no one can go wrong – one needs to make a beginning - if course correction is necessary, it will come on its own – more on this issue in next article.

Before narrating how it happened to me (in the next article), I would share thoughts of a few evolved one’s on this issue.

While I and my co-brother (he has not taken to any kind of spiritual practices) were sitting with Swami Virajeshwara, I asked Swamiji, what practice he should pick up? He said – “Aise hi santon se milate rahein, jahan achcha lage wahan baith jayen (let him keep visiting saints and he may take up a practice from a saint with whom he feels connected to)." This basically means that having regard to the level of one’s spiritual evolution, if one keeps going to various Gurus, one would feel connected to and find appropriate Guru out of the seven kind of Gurus mentioned above.

Many will be impressed by the great masters in science, some by the one’s who appeal to the logical mind expounding on Shastras, some by the one’s who give some mantra for some gains in the external world etc.

As for identification of a Param Guru – who destroy all illusions and lead a disciple realize the Self – Lord Shiva tells Parvati in two verses of Guru Geeta. The verses are :

“Yashya darshan-matrena mansah syat prasannata,
swayama bhooyat dhratis-shantih sa bhavet parmo guruh.”

If just a look at the guru creates happiness in the mind and patience (dhairya or contentment) and peace come on their own, such a Guru is Param Guru.

“Yashya smarana-matrena gyanum-utpayate swayam,
sah eva sarva-sampattih tasmat-sampujyed-gurum.”

One whose remembrance by itself reveals Gyan (awareness of the self – feeling of joy), he is endowed with all the qualities (sampada). We should worship such a Guru.

Another Guru, Shri Kinkar Vishwashreyananda (earlier name – Shri Raj Supe) said that while choosing a Guru, one may look for the lineage to which a Guru belongs. If his Guru was respected for his spiritual attainments, he may be preferable to a Guru who is first timer.

Another way is what Shri B P Gaur has beautifully described in his article “Thoughts on Guru Purnima” at his blog (http://bpgaur.blogspot.com). Excerpts from the blog are reproduced below :

“Guru is the eternal principle of Grace…. Only when a person becomes ready for discipleship, the ultimate Guru appears in a human form, making it evident that it is possible to find perfection in the human body itself.

In that sense, having a Guru is not about finding the Guru through an arduous search. The Guru is never away and is working continually back stage. It is one's seekership that eventually brings forth the Guru in a physical form that one can easily relate with….

It is my fervent wish that all beings, including myself strengthen their seekership that helps them connect to the Guru.”

It is thus the seekership which is crucial.

If one is a seeker, Guru will find him. In this connection I would also relate a story from Bhagawan Buddha’s life. A Brahimin used to donate some money to Buddha’s ashram but was not inclined to receive Diksha (initiation). One day Buddha was on his way to some village, he saw that Sankalpa for becoming a Bhikshu has arisen in that Brahimin and Buddha abandoned his visit to the village he was going to. Instead, he turned to the village where the Brahimin lived and stood in front of Brahmin’s house for Bhiksha. The Brahimin was going to take his food and his back was towards the door and therefore he could not see Buddha. But he could feel his presence around him and turned back and saw Buddha standing there. He spontaneously fell at his feet and without a thought took Diksha. Even before Sankalpa of Brahimin could get converted into thoughts and words in him and even before he was aware of his own Sankalpa, the guru saw it and came to initiate him.

Another anecdote I am sharing here is the experience of Shri B P Gaur with our Guru. Once he told a Guru that because of him (Mr. Gaur), many a person have come him (the Guru). At that moment, the Guru did not say anything. He rang him up later in the night and said – “Gaur Saheb aaj aapane ek baat galat kaha di” (Gaur Saheb, today you made an incorrect statement). Gaur Saheb immediately understood it. It is the Guru who uses others to bring seekers to him. I am also a witness and party to few happenings where I thought as if I were arranging meeting of my friends with masters but it turned out to have been the work of the Gurus! There is thus no doubt that the Guru is continually working backstage and it is the He who seeks the disciples.

But for the Guru to seek, there must a disciple in the first place. A Sankalp – a seekership – has to arise in us and Guru will appear as if it were a mere coincidence. Many a person, I know, unwillingly accompanied their acquaintances or friends to some Gurus and got hooked and there are others who come back empty handed.

The persons that fall in the first category are those who have realized the first truth of Buddha and have a toehold onto the second one (please see earlier articles on the blog for these truths). These are the persons who are looking for a way out of suffering, though they may not be consciously aware of their seeking.

There are also a few who just go deep into spiritual experiences with the blessings of a Guru – direct transmission of experience (energy) by the Guru – process known as “Shaktipat”. These disciples do not appear to have suffered or done anything in this life by way of sadhana to deserve grace of the masters. But this also is not without any seekership, these persons have gained eligibility for grace consequent to their seeking and sadhana in earlier births.

The persons in the second category are those who still hope to find happiness through their pursuits in the external world. For them time has not yet come to be with a Param Guru. If these persons try some spiritual practices, they are more likely to take up some Sakaam form of a spiritual practice (yagna, pooja, mantras etc. for attainment of specific objective in worldly life – for getting a son, material prosperity etc.) or fall prey to some Nishiddha Guru. While on this issue let me hasten to add that Sakaam form of a spiritual practice may also in due course (wait may be long, running into a few lives) lead one to real seeking.

But whatever spiritual practice one happens to take up, it has to be pursued with dedication. Bhagwan Shiva in his Shutras says “Udyamo Bhairavah”, that is, through one’s Udyam, one finds that one is Shiva. Udyam means a whole hearted effort, where one puts everything into the effort, holding back nothing. Osho also used to say that there is not much of a difference between 99 degree and 100 degree Celsius of temperature but at 99 degree it is water and at 100 it is transformed into steam. Lukewarm effort will not do.

Another thing of which one has to be conscious of is that following rituals handed over from generations, visiting places of worship and pilgrimages makes one believe that one is a spiritual seeker and that one is doing all that is necessary for one’s evolution. But when we see actions of these religious people, they are found to be originating from anger, greed, jealousy and ego. Most of these people, instead of love and compassion, have lesser acceptance (tolerance) for other faiths than the non-believers and have been and continue to be the cause of mass destruction of life and property. This is ‘deception’ of which evolved one’s like Kabir, Osho and others have warned in no uncertain terms. Tapa, Japa, Pooja etc. do not really help one until one has gained a glimpse of the Self. This is made clear by Bhagawan Shiva in Guru Geeta :

“Swaroop-gyan-shoonyena kritam-apyakritam bhavet,
Tapo japadikam devi sakalam baal-jalpawat.”

Without having experienced the Self, all Japa and Tapa etc. done become as if nothing has been done. They are like meaningless utterances of a child.

That is why all the evolved Gurus (not the priests) speak against organized religions. All their effort is to wean away the seekers from the ritualistic form of religion and help them evolve.

One has to understand the distinction between religion (code of conduct with a list of Do’s and Don’ts) and spiritual seeking. The religion serves the needs of the society meant for governing conduct of non-seekers inasmuch as it tries to maintain some sort of order in the society whereas the spiritual seeking is for realization of the Self – state of complete freedom or oneness.

Of course when one has even a faint glimpse of Self, the rituals and visiting places of worship and pilgrimages serve one well in one’s spiritual pursuits. For insights into this aspect of quest one may refer a book with the title “Hidden Mysteries” by Osho.

One may also refer to the above mentioned article by Shri B P Gaur on his blog where he says :

"Guru is one who has attained perfection by becoming one with the Absolute and is able to give seekers, who come in contact with him phyically or mentally, a taste of his state. Once a seeker gets this glimpse, his life changes and he is automatically propelled on the path of introspection and self-discovery. His journey has to finding perfection within himself begins."

For getting this glimpse one has to necessarily take to a spiritual practice from an authentic source, take to reading material on spiritual matters and try to be in touch with saints and sadhakas. As a first step, one may take to practices being propagated by Gurus for the masses like Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva (Isha Yoga Centre, Coimbtore), Osho (Pune Ashram), Goenkaji (Vipasyana – Igatpuri, near Mumbai), Paramhamsa Nithyanandji (Dhyanpeetam, Bidadi near Bangalore) etc. because they have the infrastructure, atmosphere is conducive for sadhana and one is with other travelers on the path. The practice taken should be arduously followed for at least a year. Consequently, path will unfold; changes in practice will happen, if and when necessary; and Guru will find the disciple.

Mental trap – dwelling into past and future

A young friend has asked – even when one comes to understand that it is one’s mind that causes pain by dwelling into illusory past and the future (illusory – as they do not exist in this moment), why does one still suffer by falling into the trap of this mind, time and again?

She has also asked – does all this in someway mean accepting the power of destiny? Resigning to the fact, that there is nothing you can do about future and what has to happen will happen and it will be for your good. Does it all mean just the acceptance of your situation and trying not to be perturbed about it?

First of all, I am very happy to find that you have understood that source of pain and suffering is our mind and not in the external circumstances. External attractions give hope of happiness but invariably turn out to be otherwise. This opens up possibilities for evolution of an individual.

Not many understand it till their last breath and that is why there have been so many organizations (for serving the needy), crusades, revolutions and wars to restore justice and create a Utopian Society (Rama Rajya) where everyone is happy. Actions for creation of such a society have been going on from time immemorial and will continue to be so with no change inasmuch as injustice, poverty, disease and suffering have continued to exist even after so many Avatars, Messengers and son of God.

Dwelling deeper into this aspect of life unmistakably makes one see first truth of life of which Gautam Buddha speaks – jeevan dukh hai (life is suffering).

This understanding leads one to look for reasons for suffering which is the second truth of which Gautam Buddha speaks – dukh ke karan hain (there are reasons for suffering). And one finds that the desires riding on hopes arising in the mind is the reason – in fact the desires and hopes constitute the mind (mind here refers to chitta or mun) – when they are not there, the mind is also not there. You now have a toehold on to the second stage. Wonderful!

The dilemma or problem which you are facing arises from the fact that you consider that this understanding (mind is the cause of suffering) alone should suffice for getting you out of mental trap. You want to get rid of mental trap through mind itself. It is like trying to lift oneself by one’s shoelaces. Many a seeker falls into this trap and feel hopeless – consequently their minds are filled with too many questions – there is too much of noise, as Supeji describes it.

But one saving grace is that after getting a toehold on the second stage, one is simultaneously ready for the next step. Next, the third truth, Buddha says is – dukh mukti ke upaya hain (there are methods to be free of suffering). All the masters are telling us these methods (spiritual practices).

Those who have followed any of these methods, sooner or later find themselves one with the fourth truth which He speaks of – dukh mukta awastha hai (there is a state where there is no suffering). So, one is not helpless – many keep reaching this state.

Now coming back to the question – why, inspite of our understanding that mind is the cause of suffering, do we keep falling into its trap and suffer? Reason is simple. In our present state, we are nothing more than the mind – the real Self is hidden. Mind is the only reality with us. Because of that it wields unquestionable power and can even sacrifice this body to satisfy its cravings / dictates (recognition for war heroes, satisfying craving for eatables which one knows to be harmful to the body etc.). Until the real Self is uncovered, the mind continues to masquerade as an independent entity (Aham or ‘I’) – distinct from everything and everyone around. Thereby it comes in conflict with others and experiences suffering.

So when we become aware of the nature of mind, we try to modify it through mental resolves (like new year resolutions) – that is the only way we know for finding solutions to the problems confronting us. But it is not the modification of the mind (what psychiatrists and counsellors try) that will help us – it may, at best, make the life a little bit tolerable for a while – trying not to be perturbed by the circumstances does not really help – one needs to uncover the real Self, the ‘being’. When it (Self) is there, the mind turns into a utility like other limbs of the body and looses its power to enslave one and make one suffer.

Osho warns, when he says, do not try to change your conduct (response mechanism) in the external world. Firstly, one does not succeed in doing so for long [many a people try to give up sweets and fried eatables (people with excess weight), cigarettes, drinks etc. – either they fail soon or switch over to an alternative addiction] and secondly trying to change means that one tries to do something against one’s nature and it leads to conflict and hypocrisy. In fact the process of self improvement through mental understanding suits it (mind) as it helps it to continue to be relevant and in command. He says – just sow the seed [take to meditations (any spiritual practices)] and wait (with infinite patience) – allow the plant to grow, it will surely bloom.

So mind is relevant and a help till one reaches second stage. Thereafter its role is over – one has to take to some spiritual practice from an authentic source and patiently pursue it. If modification in one’s practice is necessary, it will always come from some source at appropriate time. One need not worry about that at all – the Guru Tatwa takes care of it – one gets help even from masters about whom one has never heard.

Another thing to know is that the frequency and duration of being caught up with a thought or emotion (desire or reaction) depends upon level of life energy (prana or consciousness) which one has. If one is low on this energy (predominance of tamas) the frequency and duration would me more. Person will be sucked into repetitive thought patterns and emotions and will find it difficult to come out of them. The spiritual practices raise this level of energy by increasing intake of prana and reducing its leakage and this enables one to come out their grip.

When one takes to spiritual practices and pursues them with patience, one starts realizing that situations perceived to be difficult / adverse were a help rather than a hindrance and that the people around are loving and beautiful. One also knows that there is no injustice in this world, everyone gets into situations which one deserves according to one’s Karmas and that one need not resign to the fate (in a state of helplessness). On the contrary one starts feeling grateful to the persons and things around. This realization will slowly but surely come and then life is a celebration as it is – without any modifications.

By way of an example, I am sharing my conversation with a friend. A few days back, I rang up one of my close friends (who had resigned from her job and did not reasonably succeed in her endevour in the alternate occupation and had problems with her family members as well) just to know the name of a book. As usual on being asked about how I am – I said "masti mein as usual”. It was a welcome surprise for me to hear - “I am also coming there”, meaning in the state of masti. Last three years, she was in bad shape on emotional plane with a few moments of highs and very many lows – lows giving rise to a number of questions. But her practices supported by guidance and grace of masters have taken her out of suffering even without there being any significant change in her external circumstances. Of course, soon they (external circumstances ) will also change.

Now let us see the situation from another angle. Considering the time we devote on preparing ourselves for just making a living (at least 20 years) which all animals do effortlessly, the investment of three years for such transformation is insignificant. But of course, when one goes through adverse situations with consequent suffering and one’s efforts in spiritual field do not bring any immediate relief in short span of a few months, one has that feeling of helplessness – the tunnel appears to be dark – no light at the end. But if one perseveres, rewards are disproportionately large. Patience and perseverance are the keys.

While going through the practices, as an aid, one may read :

“The Prophet” by Khalil Gibran – a small book in the form of poems with deep insights in a very condensed form;

“Same soul many bodies” by Brian Wiess, modern living psychiatrist – makes a light reading – his studies based on results of regression and progression therapy show how one’s relationships and incidents in the present life are the consequence of relationships and incidents in earlier lives;

“The Power of Now” by Ekhardt Tolle who accidentally became an enlightened master – the book gives deep insights for one’s transformation without referring to any traditional spiritual texts – it appeals to the logical mind; and

“The book of Mirdad” by Mikahil Naimy which unmistakably expresses the truth of life (Osho has included this book in his list of the books, he loved).