Love and Moha

To a friend who lost his only son

Often what we consider as love for our family members, relatives, friends and even gurus is mere asakti or moha.  But, in fact, they are opposite to each other. 

Love is the nature of consciousness (purush) whereas moha is an attribute of the mind (prakriti).
Love has no object (it is universal – for everyone and everything around) whereas moha is directed towards identified persons, ideas or things. 
Love is beyond ego whereas moha is offspring of ego.

Love is an effortless expression of consciousness whereas the moha arises from the need for physical, emotional, material and even perceived spiritual needs which one expects to get fulfilled through others – a person under the spell of moha tries to use others for his own sake (sacrifice is also a device for getting something in return) – it makes a person beggar (being in needs, as aforesaid) though he often pretends to be otherwise.

Love is liberation (mukti) for the self as also for everyone around whereas moha results in possessiveness of the object of moha.

Moha, being offspring of ego, creates an illusion of responsibility (self worth) – concern for the welfare and well being of near and dear ones.  This concern causes anxiety, guilt etc. in the person and he suffers.  The concern also causes a need to control and guide the lives of others – imprison them – trample on their independence.  Others also suffer as the saying goes – paradheen sapnehu sukh nahin.  If one consciously looks around, one will become aware of reach and consequences moha – it's reach is far and wide.

Love is remedy for all the ills (it heals and liberates) whereas moha is root cause of all the ills (it injures the self and also the objects of moha). 

Till we experientially know love (through bhakti and gyan), the false coin, moha will continue to be mistaken for love.  But to know love experientially is the ultimate object of life.  On the way, a sadhaka may only have some vague perception of the distinction between love and moha. 

But the vague perception is also good enough for moving forward if one is conscious of it.  To clear the vagueness and making the distinction clear; apart from regular reading of scriptures, satsang and other spiritual practices; what one needs to be conscious of is the fact that others need freedom – others are as much individuals in their own right as one is – they come from the same source – they have their own aspirations and reservations – they require to be accepted as such with their preferences, prejudices and perceived limitations.  One needs to deeply understand and be conscious of the fact that not respecting freedom and individuality of others is an act of aggression (himsa). 

This consciousness and understanding is the key to one’s transformation and then one will gradually find that one is unburdened and others are comfortable and happy in his presence.  Whole atmosphere is light.