While passing through difficult phases in our lives, some of us come in contact with some spiritual aspirant or a Guru. He tells us some practice (reading of some scripture, chanting some mantra, pranayam, meditation etc.).
Most of us who seriously pursue a practice often have some positive experience (beginner’s luck) soon and one thinks, "Oh my problem is over!" In that state, for many, external situations do not seem to matter any more. But soon the negative state returns. We ask our mentor, he asks us to continue. We continue for a while and start feeling disillusioned, doubt our own experience, doubt efficacy of the practice and in many a case give it up.
This is a limitation of sakaam sadhana (practice with an object) that when expected results are not achieved, one starts getting frustrated and one’s belief is shaken (this is also often shown in films and TV serials). But this is how most of the people start. Of course, gradually one is led into nishkaam sadhana (practice without an object) – practice itself becomes a source of joy and not a means for that.
This is a common experience and therefore a clearer understanding of the matter will help many. In this connection, I would narrate experiences of a few friends.
One of my young friends is afraid of darkness and ghosts, disillusioned with his work environment and does not find any meaning or purpose in life. I directed him to Supeji who advised him to write "Sri Ram Ram Ram" and chant Tarak Mantra “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.” He chanted the mantra and it worked very well for him. In a couple of month’s time he sent me a mail asking me how to control his ego as his memory has increased 20 times and there is lot of improvement in his concentration and grasp and consequently he considers himself to be superior to everyone around! I told him forget about that and continue with the practice. Soon his negativity was back, he could not concentrate on his studies, he had so many questions to ask (questions exist only in the troubled mind – not when one is happy) and wanted to give up the mantra. Fortunately, after repeated chats, he is continuing. God bless him!
Another friend of mine had left her job. Joined another one and left that also. Thereafter she did not have anything meaningful to do (desire to do something and earn was strong) and felt frustrated and depressed. I took her to a few masters. One of them gave her a mantra. When she started chanting it, she could not stop crying for a few days. I asked her to continue as this was a process of unburdening of sub-conscious mind (a kind of catharsis). After a few days she felt quite light. Later she was given Tarak Mantra by Supeji and she started doing it.
I also persuaded her to attend a 4 day meditation course conducted by Nithyanandji. She was averse to the idea of staying in the Ashram (quality of accomodation and hygiene not being of the standards she is used to) but somehow went. A day later she rang up my wife to tell, “Abhi aakar Swatantra ki khub pitayee karungi, kahan fansa diya!” as on first day there is much of preaching with a view to reorient one’s thinking and problem of adjustment in new environment is also there. Completed the course in another three days and remarked “Swatantra, howsoever, one may try to resist, he has such a power, if one is there with him for a couple of days, one would fall in love with him”. Obviously her experiences in meditations were quite rewarding (inspite of her reservations). She continued with one of these meditations for a few months.
Thereafter she went to Mungale Sir, who asked her to read Ramayana. She started reading it. On some days she felt ecstatic and told me how while reading Ramayana she gets revelations (some old question or confusion suddenly gets resolved) and she experienced the state of timelessness. She also told me that even though the external situation remains, as it was, it does not matter to her any more. Only a couple of months when she asked me, “How are you?” I said what I usually say, “Masti mein as usual!” Her response was wonderful! She said, “Wait I am also coming there!” I was very happy that she is finally arriving.
She has continued with one or more of these practices for more than two years (earlier she had done a course with Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva but did not continue with that for long as closing eyes triggered fear in her – this also reflects on the repressed emotions buried within, which require to be cleared before one can breath free). The situation on work front did not show any improvement and it deteriorated on the home front.
A couple of days back, she rang me up to tell that she does not find any point in continuing with these practices as without them also the situation could not be any worse. One has to stay clear of this dangerous logic churned out by the mind. Practices are required to come out of the negative states of mind. In negative states mind tries to deceive one by getting one convinced about inefficacy of the spiritual practice. If one drops the practice, one will continue to be in a miserable state enabling the mind to continue to retain control. This is the way it continues to be relevant (need to plan and do something is there only when there is some problem, i.e., one is not happy and contented) and it thrives only on crisis and sorrows. In blissful state it is dissolved!
Yet another friend of mine had a number of problems on home front as also on work front. She wanted shortcuts and was averse to any serious sadhana which I suggested. She faced the problems boldly and with confidence for some time. Thereafter, over a period of couple of years, situation continued to deteriorate and finally she broke down (mentally as well physically). Circumstances thus forced her to give in and she took to meditation (for which she must have been destined) and received blessings of Gurus. Within three days, one of her major problem was over. I told her that the God has given her a positive signal so soon just to motivate her and that she should continue. She said, “Yes sir, I also feel that way”. After a couple of months another of her major problem (most pressing one) was over. I again told her to continue which she did.
With passage of time, as is usual, she took the major positive changes for granted and the remaining problems (which no doubt are serious) appeared to her to be too huge (there was no change for the worse) and she often felt depressed. The mind again reasoned that there is no use of the practices and she wanted to discontinue them.
Now this is surprising that a person expects transformation in one’s mental state or external circumstances (these are consequences of actions of past many lives) in a few months or a couple of years whereas one devotes 20 years of life without any complain for just gaining working knowledge to make a living which all wild animals do without making any fuss about it. But when it comes to one’s real transformation – ultimate purpose, one does not have patience.
Osho used to say that sometimes after a week or so of meditations (chaotic breathing, jumping and crying – his meditations for the beginners involve that) many a participant asks that I have been doing it for so many days and I have not yet experienced state of Samadhi or God.
Sadhana should not be burdened with expectations. One day a friend of mine went to a Guru. Seeing him the Guru remarked, “Appaki sadhana per bahut bojh hai! Bojh hataiye, isko halka kariye (There is lot of burden on your sadhana. Remove the burden, make it light” Later that friend told me that it is true. Whenever he was meditating before leaving for the Airport or for some other work, he used to think that let check-in, immigration and security check be fast. And it used be help.
Sadhana should be done like any other routine activity during the day like going to toilet, eating, watching TV, chating on computer or phone etc., not with a thought that one is doing something great! Then there will be no expectation and no impatience which invariably leads to frustration.
Another very serious problem is that many a Sadhaka do have real and wonderful experiences like revelation and state of timelessness my friend experienced (these are the glimpses of the self which sadhaka will have once in a while) but doubt their reality when the mind is back with all its problems and covers the real self.
Osho used to say that many a disciple when they have experience of peace and joy, ask, “Is it real or an imagination – am I just dreaming?” One is so accustomed and used to sorrows that it is difficult to believe that one could be in a state like that. As a Hindi song goes “Sukh hai ek chhanv dhalati, aati aur jaati hai, dukh to apna sathi hai”. They do not doubt sorrow and do not question it by saying, “Is it an imagination?”
Reality is actually other way round. Our real nature is sat-chit-anand but we have illusion of sorrow caused the mind because of its preferences and prejudices. Real self is just covered by the mental layer. While doing any spiritual practice, sometimes for a moment mind is silent and one gets a glimpse of the self. One should doubt the sorrow (an experience caused by one’s learned ideas of good and bad and consequent preferences and prejudices – a mere idea having no substance) and not the experiences of peace and joy (a revelation of one’s true nature). Having tasted it once, one should continue with the practices.
But of course, the sub-conscious and unconscious layers of the mind have accumulated suppressed feelings of deprivation, hurt, guilt, anger etc. of a number of lives. When one takes up a spiritual practice and conscious mind becomes a little peaceful, the rarified space allows suppressed feelings from the sub-conscious layer to get released through the conscious mind. It is painful. But this is the only way. No miracle will happen!
If one goes through the autobiographies of the evolved one’s, one would find that all of them had to pass through this painful process. It is also described as dark night of the soul.
One Ms Sobha Rajgopal Menon (shikshika0@rediffmail.com), a follower of Ram Chandra Mission (Chennai) has shared her experiences in the form of her spiritual autobiography in a book titled as “Joy-ride towards divinity”. At times (for long durations of many months) she used to feel to be in close communion with her master and feel ecstatic. But a few times she had long bouts of depression so much so that she had to leave her job also. She persevered and finally she could call it a “Joy-ride towards divinity”.
Perseverance and patience are the keys. To pass through difficult phases, one can help oneself by continuing to be in contact with the fellow travelers and the Gurus.
One should also understand that if one gives up a spiritual practice or contact with guru, what better alternative does one have (an activity perceived to be useless because of ignorance is any day better than a negative one)? In that time, one will relive the negative experiences again and again and thus strengthen them – as anything we pay attention to is empowered. With time, they will be replayed with more intensity, taking the person deeper and deeper into sorrow.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, if one believes that what one is going through is the result of one’s own past karmas and thereby does not have anger, ill-will and hatred against others, negative karmas are worked out and one is left lighter. On the contrary if one does not accept it; the anger, ill-will and hatred will be recorded as new negative karma (called ‘Agami’) which will fructify in a new negative circumstance or relationship in this life or a life hereafter.
Shastra pathan, satsang and following Guru’s instructions is the only way to a blissful existence which everyone knowingly or unknowingly hankers for.
Most of us who seriously pursue a practice often have some positive experience (beginner’s luck) soon and one thinks, "Oh my problem is over!" In that state, for many, external situations do not seem to matter any more. But soon the negative state returns. We ask our mentor, he asks us to continue. We continue for a while and start feeling disillusioned, doubt our own experience, doubt efficacy of the practice and in many a case give it up.
This is a limitation of sakaam sadhana (practice with an object) that when expected results are not achieved, one starts getting frustrated and one’s belief is shaken (this is also often shown in films and TV serials). But this is how most of the people start. Of course, gradually one is led into nishkaam sadhana (practice without an object) – practice itself becomes a source of joy and not a means for that.
This is a common experience and therefore a clearer understanding of the matter will help many. In this connection, I would narrate experiences of a few friends.
One of my young friends is afraid of darkness and ghosts, disillusioned with his work environment and does not find any meaning or purpose in life. I directed him to Supeji who advised him to write "Sri Ram Ram Ram" and chant Tarak Mantra “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.” He chanted the mantra and it worked very well for him. In a couple of month’s time he sent me a mail asking me how to control his ego as his memory has increased 20 times and there is lot of improvement in his concentration and grasp and consequently he considers himself to be superior to everyone around! I told him forget about that and continue with the practice. Soon his negativity was back, he could not concentrate on his studies, he had so many questions to ask (questions exist only in the troubled mind – not when one is happy) and wanted to give up the mantra. Fortunately, after repeated chats, he is continuing. God bless him!
Another friend of mine had left her job. Joined another one and left that also. Thereafter she did not have anything meaningful to do (desire to do something and earn was strong) and felt frustrated and depressed. I took her to a few masters. One of them gave her a mantra. When she started chanting it, she could not stop crying for a few days. I asked her to continue as this was a process of unburdening of sub-conscious mind (a kind of catharsis). After a few days she felt quite light. Later she was given Tarak Mantra by Supeji and she started doing it.
I also persuaded her to attend a 4 day meditation course conducted by Nithyanandji. She was averse to the idea of staying in the Ashram (quality of accomodation and hygiene not being of the standards she is used to) but somehow went. A day later she rang up my wife to tell, “Abhi aakar Swatantra ki khub pitayee karungi, kahan fansa diya!” as on first day there is much of preaching with a view to reorient one’s thinking and problem of adjustment in new environment is also there. Completed the course in another three days and remarked “Swatantra, howsoever, one may try to resist, he has such a power, if one is there with him for a couple of days, one would fall in love with him”. Obviously her experiences in meditations were quite rewarding (inspite of her reservations). She continued with one of these meditations for a few months.
Thereafter she went to Mungale Sir, who asked her to read Ramayana. She started reading it. On some days she felt ecstatic and told me how while reading Ramayana she gets revelations (some old question or confusion suddenly gets resolved) and she experienced the state of timelessness. She also told me that even though the external situation remains, as it was, it does not matter to her any more. Only a couple of months when she asked me, “How are you?” I said what I usually say, “Masti mein as usual!” Her response was wonderful! She said, “Wait I am also coming there!” I was very happy that she is finally arriving.
She has continued with one or more of these practices for more than two years (earlier she had done a course with Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva but did not continue with that for long as closing eyes triggered fear in her – this also reflects on the repressed emotions buried within, which require to be cleared before one can breath free). The situation on work front did not show any improvement and it deteriorated on the home front.
A couple of days back, she rang me up to tell that she does not find any point in continuing with these practices as without them also the situation could not be any worse. One has to stay clear of this dangerous logic churned out by the mind. Practices are required to come out of the negative states of mind. In negative states mind tries to deceive one by getting one convinced about inefficacy of the spiritual practice. If one drops the practice, one will continue to be in a miserable state enabling the mind to continue to retain control. This is the way it continues to be relevant (need to plan and do something is there only when there is some problem, i.e., one is not happy and contented) and it thrives only on crisis and sorrows. In blissful state it is dissolved!
Yet another friend of mine had a number of problems on home front as also on work front. She wanted shortcuts and was averse to any serious sadhana which I suggested. She faced the problems boldly and with confidence for some time. Thereafter, over a period of couple of years, situation continued to deteriorate and finally she broke down (mentally as well physically). Circumstances thus forced her to give in and she took to meditation (for which she must have been destined) and received blessings of Gurus. Within three days, one of her major problem was over. I told her that the God has given her a positive signal so soon just to motivate her and that she should continue. She said, “Yes sir, I also feel that way”. After a couple of months another of her major problem (most pressing one) was over. I again told her to continue which she did.
With passage of time, as is usual, she took the major positive changes for granted and the remaining problems (which no doubt are serious) appeared to her to be too huge (there was no change for the worse) and she often felt depressed. The mind again reasoned that there is no use of the practices and she wanted to discontinue them.
Now this is surprising that a person expects transformation in one’s mental state or external circumstances (these are consequences of actions of past many lives) in a few months or a couple of years whereas one devotes 20 years of life without any complain for just gaining working knowledge to make a living which all wild animals do without making any fuss about it. But when it comes to one’s real transformation – ultimate purpose, one does not have patience.
Osho used to say that sometimes after a week or so of meditations (chaotic breathing, jumping and crying – his meditations for the beginners involve that) many a participant asks that I have been doing it for so many days and I have not yet experienced state of Samadhi or God.
Sadhana should not be burdened with expectations. One day a friend of mine went to a Guru. Seeing him the Guru remarked, “Appaki sadhana per bahut bojh hai! Bojh hataiye, isko halka kariye (There is lot of burden on your sadhana. Remove the burden, make it light” Later that friend told me that it is true. Whenever he was meditating before leaving for the Airport or for some other work, he used to think that let check-in, immigration and security check be fast. And it used be help.
Sadhana should be done like any other routine activity during the day like going to toilet, eating, watching TV, chating on computer or phone etc., not with a thought that one is doing something great! Then there will be no expectation and no impatience which invariably leads to frustration.
Another very serious problem is that many a Sadhaka do have real and wonderful experiences like revelation and state of timelessness my friend experienced (these are the glimpses of the self which sadhaka will have once in a while) but doubt their reality when the mind is back with all its problems and covers the real self.
Osho used to say that many a disciple when they have experience of peace and joy, ask, “Is it real or an imagination – am I just dreaming?” One is so accustomed and used to sorrows that it is difficult to believe that one could be in a state like that. As a Hindi song goes “Sukh hai ek chhanv dhalati, aati aur jaati hai, dukh to apna sathi hai”. They do not doubt sorrow and do not question it by saying, “Is it an imagination?”
Reality is actually other way round. Our real nature is sat-chit-anand but we have illusion of sorrow caused the mind because of its preferences and prejudices. Real self is just covered by the mental layer. While doing any spiritual practice, sometimes for a moment mind is silent and one gets a glimpse of the self. One should doubt the sorrow (an experience caused by one’s learned ideas of good and bad and consequent preferences and prejudices – a mere idea having no substance) and not the experiences of peace and joy (a revelation of one’s true nature). Having tasted it once, one should continue with the practices.
But of course, the sub-conscious and unconscious layers of the mind have accumulated suppressed feelings of deprivation, hurt, guilt, anger etc. of a number of lives. When one takes up a spiritual practice and conscious mind becomes a little peaceful, the rarified space allows suppressed feelings from the sub-conscious layer to get released through the conscious mind. It is painful. But this is the only way. No miracle will happen!
If one goes through the autobiographies of the evolved one’s, one would find that all of them had to pass through this painful process. It is also described as dark night of the soul.
One Ms Sobha Rajgopal Menon (shikshika0@rediffmail.com), a follower of Ram Chandra Mission (Chennai) has shared her experiences in the form of her spiritual autobiography in a book titled as “Joy-ride towards divinity”. At times (for long durations of many months) she used to feel to be in close communion with her master and feel ecstatic. But a few times she had long bouts of depression so much so that she had to leave her job also. She persevered and finally she could call it a “Joy-ride towards divinity”.
Perseverance and patience are the keys. To pass through difficult phases, one can help oneself by continuing to be in contact with the fellow travelers and the Gurus.
One should also understand that if one gives up a spiritual practice or contact with guru, what better alternative does one have (an activity perceived to be useless because of ignorance is any day better than a negative one)? In that time, one will relive the negative experiences again and again and thus strengthen them – as anything we pay attention to is empowered. With time, they will be replayed with more intensity, taking the person deeper and deeper into sorrow.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, if one believes that what one is going through is the result of one’s own past karmas and thereby does not have anger, ill-will and hatred against others, negative karmas are worked out and one is left lighter. On the contrary if one does not accept it; the anger, ill-will and hatred will be recorded as new negative karma (called ‘Agami’) which will fructify in a new negative circumstance or relationship in this life or a life hereafter.
Shastra pathan, satsang and following Guru’s instructions is the only way to a blissful existence which everyone knowingly or unknowingly hankers for.
True!! God give us the patience to persevere.
ReplyDeleteSir!! The entire note is quite enlightening.
ReplyDelete