When life unfolds - Part - 2

My mother was not allowed to study beyond 3rd standard because when she was in school, a girl studying in her village school in 5th standard ran away with a teacher. When she grew up and had all of us as children, she wanted us to study well. 

My father was the only male child from 3 of our grandfathers. My grandparents obviously wanted him to look after cultivation of our lands. For this reason they did not want him to study beyond 8th standard. He rebelled and ran away from the house to Rishikesh and got admission in an Ayurveda College run by Baba Kale Kambaliwale. Stay, food and education in this college was free.

My father soon became a renowned Ayurvedic doctor, served thousands of patients in our area, brought good name to his parents and managed cultivation of our lands as well.

Rebellion, not succumbing to dictates of his father and grandfather, gave him great opportunity.

In the meantime his younger brother was also borne (younger by 16 years). My father knew the importance of education and wanted him and my elder brothers and sister to study well.

My uncle was sent for higher studies (9th onwards) to Dehradun and my elder brothers and sister were also sent to hostels in Haridwar from primary classes itself. 

My mother was in fact so particular about disciplined studies that whenever my eldest brother ran away from his college, she would not allow him to stay in the house even if it was night. She would force him and accompany him back to college. Whenever any of us bunked any class, she would scold us severely and often beat us up.

In spite of all the strictness and sincere efforts of my parents, my uncle left his studies after 12th and came home to look after his share of lands in the village. My elder brothers and sister also did not do well. My eldest brother did not even clear High School.

And I and my younger brother and sisters, because of lack of finances (all elders were studying in city and living in hostels), had to study in the village school and devote substantial time and effort to cultivation and tending to cattle. 

Of them also, I alone did well in my studies - with no mentoring, pushing or use of force by the parents.

My eldest Jijaji was an intelligent, cultured, humorous and hard working man. We were always impressed by him.

One monsoon season, Gangaji changed its course a bit and his lands were swept away and became Gangaji. He was not bogged down by this huge loss and to maintain or improve upon his financial status took large tracts of lands on lease for cultivation and managed bank finance for cultivation and purchase of a tractor. Crop grew well and suddenly at the time of harvesting there were repeated showers of unseasonal rains.  Whole crop was destroyed. He could not pay lease rentals to land owners and bank EMIs.

Even in such adverse circumstances he did not loose self belief and initiative. With his interpersonal skills and honesty of purpose, he convinced landlords to allow him lease of another year when he will pay them for both the years. Convinced bank also to reschedule repayment of loan.

He did well again. Crop again came up well and something happened which was unbelievable. Rarest of rare occurrence - unseasonal rains again destroyed his harvested crop lying in the fields.

He was broken, chased by creditors, confined himself to the house and died in miserable conditions. Things had come to such a pass that one of his sons had to work as an agricultural labour.

In due course one of his sons and one daughter did reasonably well and things are reasonably OK after his death!

As mentioned a little earlier, my eldest brother did not pass High School. He was lazy and failed in all activities through out his life. 

My bhabhi on the other hand is a very loving, caring, contented and hard working lady. She continued to be that way and remained cheerful amidst severe financially difficult situations - just imagine state of a lady who has two sons and two daughters and whose husband does not earn enough to meet their daily needs. 

With HIS grace, both the daughters are happily married - their husbands are doing well. Both the sons did ITI courses, are employed and married to good natured girls. Family atmosphere is excellent.

Their elder son-in-law at the time marriage was a PTI (Physical Training Instructor) in Central School. Soon, he got a posting to a terrorist infested area in J&K. For this reason, he resigned from that Govt Job. Everybody was worried at his decision and uncertain future. Nobody, however, came in the way of his decision.

He wanted to do some business with meagre capital which he could manage. He sought my help in getting some agency which I could not assure. He started on his own and is today biggest dealer of white goods in Haridwar. Loss of job - seemingly negative event - opened huge opportunities for him.

Scriptures says that events unfold according to one's prarabdha (fate).

No one can really change the course of events - cannot shape the lives of their children or organisations.  

If one reflects back, one would find it to be true.

The scriptures further expound that when one's aspirations and efforts happen to be in line with whatever is going to happen (according to prarabdha), one feels as if the desired outcome is due to his intelligence and effort.  An illusion of success is created. One feels happy and has false sense of attainment. It is something like situation of a dog who walking with and in the shade of a bullock cart thinks that he is carrying the cart! 

On the other hand when one's aspirations and efforts happen to be different than what is going to happen, one has illusion of failure.

There is thus no success or failure but only illusions of success or failure.

One only feels happy at illusion of success or feels dejected and depressed at illusion of failure.

Somewhat evolved souls have trust in the Divine Will - result of lives times of humble submission to higher principles - as Gaur Saheb would say. These souls simply carry on happily with their lives as life unfolds. 

On the other hand not so evolved souls carry on stains of strong ego, insist on managing situations and learn their lessons hard way after much suffering.

Life is a mystery. No one knows what is good and what is bad (right or wrong) until life unfolds.

Supeji has written a small and beautiful poem on this. The poem runs thus.

"When life unfolds,

all things indistinct, all things in 

the wrong and seemingly erroneous

Become right.

Everything is so-imprecise, unhappy

until life unfolds.

Once life unfolds, all is well!

We just wait ... ungrudging, unjudging, surrendering!

As mentioned in Part-I of this post, I am blessed that whenever life unfolded in a dimension different then what I preferred, I could sincerely follow the available course without much rancour or regret.

And found life to be wonderful!

When life unfolds - Part - 1

We feel happy when things go as per our preferences and feel dejected when it happens otherwise.

If one reflects, thinks objectively, one would find that there is nothing great about our preferences and prejudices. They are mere thoughts, picked-up from here and there - from our surroundings. Many a time these change with time. In retrospect, sometimes, we find how frivolous or useless or wrong our preference or prejudice was.

As we have our preferences and prejudices, so have others. And everyone is sure of correctness of one's preferences or prejudices and is passionate about them. In real life situations, there is thus going to be conflict - closely related persons having opposing preferences.

There is no way these can be resolved except when one of them yields. And it is equally difficult for either of them to do so, especially for the elders who (may be mistakenly) feel that with their experience of life they are in better position to decide between good and bad or right and wrong.

Then what is the way out.

The truth is that in absolute sense there is nothing right and wrong - events just unfold like rise and fall of waves in ocean. Nothing really changes - it is all water with or without waves.

Further, nobody knows what will be the outcome or consequence of an option - future is hidden.  Though, if one follows dictates of elders, the outcome may or may not result in a happy life, it will be so even if one follows one's own decision.

For resolution of conflicts, the society therefore provided for an arbitrary but uniform rule - obedience on the part of youngsters. Young ones were expected to accept what elders ordained without question like they do in Army. To obey was assigned a great virtue. With this value system, one could take pride and feel happy in obeying one's elders. That is how Rama happily accepted what his step-mother and father asked him to do - happily went to forest leaving all the comforts of a palace.

But this value system no more exists in today's world. The young one's do not take pride in obeying their elders. They wish to follow their own dreams. Why should one blindly follow the elders, they think? This is also fine. This is today's value system. So the comfort of just following the elders is no more an option. If this door is closed, one has to necessarily look for another one.

An enlightened approach would be to accept what Supeji says - one may plan for one's course of action and tell oneself that rest is God's wish. One may wish and plan that he  wants to go to Varanasi but should simultaneously tell oneself - rest is God's wish - baki bhagwan ki Ichha. Muslims also say, 'Insa-allaha'. One has to know that outcome of  any action does not solely depend on us - it is resultant of many forces - there being many players in a game and then there is a mysterious factor.

If one deeply thinks and realises this truth, one will not be disturbed but welcome what comes one's way.

I can tell you about a few events in my life where following advice of others helped me and flow of events contrary to my desire did not harm - on the contrary helped me.

While appearing for entrance exam of Roorkee University, my first paper was spoiled and I wanted to come back home. On the request and suggestion of my classmate, I stayed back for another two days and appeared in all papers and got through. It changed my life. Had I stuck to my decision, life would have taken a different course.

While in the final year of engineering, I was very keen on going to US for MS. I got offer of admission also from Hawaii University, Honolulu - an exciting tourist attraction even for Americans. I was very excited about it. My parents, fearing that once gone, I would not come back, did not let me go. I had to stay back. Obviously I felt a little bad at that time. But instead of being bitter about it, I looked ahead and started preparing for Civil Services Exam (an altogether different career) and got into Income-tax which proved to be wonderful.

In Income-tax once I wanted to be posted in Meerut and got transfer order also for that place. But apparently unjustifiably my order was cancelled to accommodate someone else. I was forced to go to Indore. Again, I felt a little bad but once I was there, I started working very sincerely. This forced posting proved to be best part of my entire career. I got lot of appreciation and recognition for my work. Satisfaction of this important need (to be appreciated and recognised) helped me a lot in my spiritual journey.

Thus, when one door was closed, I went through the other and it proved to be wonderful. I could not have planned my life as well as God has done it for me. Our knowledge is very very limited. HE knows best. HE creates situations to put us on a right path. He does it through others who appear to be inimical to us in that moment. But this is how he uses force to correct our errors - preferences borne out of ignorance.

A couple of examples from the lives of close friends and relatives.

One young girl who completed her graduation from Bangalore did not want to come to Indore (to her this place looked like a dusty village and she felt as if people there were not cool) and do MBA. Her father forced her to study in Indore instead of taking up a low paid job in Bangalore. Her reactions at that time were sharp. Thanks to insistence of her father and her compliance to that (even though with reluctance), she is so happy about it now. Consequently, she enjoyed her internship abroad and is back to Bangalore - the place she preferred and that too with much better salary.

Another example, a young girl wanted to marry a boy with criminal record. Her parents tried hard to prevent her from doing so for over a year. Sometimes her mother not only scolded but also beat her up. She did not yield and got married to him. Today she is very unhappy and says that they should not have allowed her to do that.

In fact, if one flows with the course of events and does not fight much, HE sails us through smoothly - without much struggle. Otherwise we would find everyone including fate conspiring against us - leaving us unhappy and frustrated.

In storm trees trying to stand erect are broken and uprooted whereas the same storm removes the dust from grass blades which bend and they come back as fresh and strong.

Those who try to swim against the stream get tired and those who float are effortlessly carried by the stream.

Rebellion and fighting is easy.  It is a natural tendency as it strengthens the ego - sense of 'I'.  But it requires great strength to let go one's preferences and prejudices and go with others - go with the flow - into an unknown and unplanned territory.  Accept the challenge and explore what life has on offer.

Recognise HIS signals, be open to what unfolds before you and enjoy HIS bounties.

Dilemma of a Seeker

Persons who become interested in pursuing some spiritual practice often have a doubt – whether by following this path one would continue to be interested in one’s work and one would fit into this world where everyone is materialistically oriented.  And some of those who have followed this path for a few years and have become a little inward looking, find themselves a little estranged from their earlier social circle.  They start thinking whether it would not be better to quit one’s job or occupation and devote themselves fully to their chosen path.

Before one can venture to answer these questions, some basics of life have to be understood.

This body and mind and all their attributes are acquired from the nature (Prakriti).  The body and mind belong to this world.  By its very nature this body and mind mechanism cannot live without action.  It is bound to act according to the diktats of the nature.  It has no independence. 

The consciousness (Purush) or the life force within this mechanism is always free and is not bound by anything.

Somehow, mysteriously, when this consciousness comes in contact with the body and mind mechanism, another centre ‘I’ comes into existence.  This centre starts thinking this body and mind as ‘its’.  It also ascribes the ‘acquired attributes’ of body and mind as its ‘qualities’.  This identification spreads to persons and things outside to whom this ‘I’ calls as ‘mine’.  Then all the struggle for acquiring and maintaining the qualities, material possessions and relationships starts.

To be spiritual is to drop this ‘I’ and be free.  In absence of ‘I’, ‘mine’ obviously has no existence.

If one’s intellect is sharp enough to understand the nature of body, mind and consciousness; nothing remains to be done.  It cuts through the identification and one is free.  But we obviously try to comprehend this through our mind.  Logical comprehension by the mind does not become our understanding.  The identification with the body and mind and consequently with things and persons outside continues.  Because of this, the path of understanding (Gyan yog) is not available to many.

Another way to drop ‘I’ is to feel from every pore of this body and mind that this nature is also manifestation of the consciousness and as such everything and everyone is 'consciousness' or ‘God’.  When everything and everyone is ‘God’ the question of something like ‘I’ being there does not arise.  This is way of Bhakti.  Few are endowed with bhakti.

Third way is to let this body and mind act in this world (as it cannot remain without action) with an understanding that all which this body and mind mechanism has acquired is acquired from this world.  Everyone is merely using the bounties of the nature.  There is nothing which one has created and which one can really call as his.  With this understanding, one would obviously serve the world with all one’s acquired attributes and material acquisitions, i.e., the Prakriti (this body and mind) will serve the Prakriti (this world).  Such action (without any desire for personal gain or glory) is Karmyog.

Yet another way is that of ‘Dhyan’, i.e., meditation.  It has two main branches - ‘Yog’ and ‘Tantra’.

When one starts entering the path of Yog (Ashtangyog – the eight fold path enunciated by Patanjali), the questions relating to morality, ethics, celibacy etc. crop up as ‘Yam’ and ‘Niyam’ are prerequisites on this path.  This is the path of the renunciants.

The path of Tantra (112 methods of meditation told to Parvati by Shiva) involves total acceptance, i.e., acceptance of everything, every emotion, every thought, and every being.  There is nothing wrong or right, good or bad or moral or immoral.  It cannot be, as all is manifestation of same consciousness or energy.  Science also now accepts this truth.

As discussed earlier one cannot remain without action.  When one is simply lying down, enormous activity is still on inside the body and mind which is nothing but action.  Action in this world is inevitable.  So be in it.  Unless this inherent urge for action is allowed to unfold, one cannot reach a state of meditation, i.e., a state of relaxation (non-doing).

When action is inevitable (and in fact it aids reach the state of meditation), easiest way to go about in this world is to respond to the situation in which one finds oneself to be in.  Every game has to be played with some rules.  Follow, therefore, the rules of the game (acting according to social norms and law of the land - referred to as Shastras in ancients texts).  In the context of Government service, the relevant law and procedures, the CCS(CCA) Rules and the Conduct Rules are the Shastras.  Know that in responding to a situation according to Shastras, one is not doing anything, things are just happening.  For example, when a judge orders death sentence to a law breaker, it is not he who is punishing him but it is the action of the law breaker which has resulted in the punishment.  Action or response according to Shastras does not bind one (there is no accumulation of Karmic-baggage), i.e., there are no emotional reactions or suffering.  Act according to Shastra and be finished with it.  Move on in freedom.

With this kind of orientation one would not only fit but will excel in this world as one’s actions are no more affected or inhibited by fear or greed.  One’s mind is unburdened and thinks clearly.

The desire to run away from the action and responsibilities on the pretext of giving oneself totally to one’s chosen path is, more often than not, because of dominance of ‘Tamas’ and / or one’s inability to face the situations around.  Running away also takes away from one the possibilities of encountering situations where one’s progress in spiritual field may be tested.  It is the real life situation that tests one’s patience and capacity to remain unaffected by the pleasant or unpleasant situations and provide opportunities for further progress.

As for fitting in the social set-up, when one is at peace with one self (this happens when one attains a state of total acceptance and merely responds to the situations as per the social norms and law of the land – one evolves to this state as a result of one’s spiritual practices), one would be at peace with everyone.  Though with progress in the spiritual field, the futility of material ambitions becomes obvious, with inner harmony in place, one would be comfortable in late night parties and discussion on everything under the sun.  Problem arises when one continues with one’s likes and dislikes.  Total acceptance, as envisaged in Tantra, is the key.  Further, with progress in this field one smoothly acquires a new circle, a new family of seekers.  It is like change of one’s circle from childhood to adulthood or adulthood to old age.  It is a natural change.

One should, therefore, continue in the thick of action, let the life teach its lessons, pursue one’s spiritual practices and allow the change of social circle to happen without any clinging to the old.  And thus achieve peace with oneself and everything and everyone around.  And be blissful in this unity.

Osho guides his disciples by saying – continue in this world as you are, do not try to bring about any change in your actions.  Only add meditation to your daily routine.  Whatever needs to change will change by itself.  Whatever does not change, it is OK.

Living in Harmony – No Conflict, Compromise or Sacrifice

To a friend who misunderstood the concept that compromise and sacrifice does not lead one to a joyful living

It is true that if in a relationship one makes a sacrifice or compromise, an expectation is attached to it.  More often than not such expectation is not fulfilled resulting in a feeling that one has allowed oneself to be taken for a ride.  Consequently there is a feeling of frustration, anger or depression.  In some way (unknowingly - propelled by sub-conscious feelings) one is likely to take his revenge and, therefore, sacrifice or the compromise as such does not help anyone.  But at the same time, it is equally true that when we have no option but to live in this society, particularly with our family members, if we have to be happy and enjoy our lives, our relationships have to be harmonious and free of confrontations.

There is thus an unavoidable need for change in all of us – to achieve harmony in our relationships.

Now the question is how to avoid confrontations in relationships without compromise, repression and sacrifice?  It is impossible to achieve it through change of persons or situations or through rationalisation of one’s thought process or mind.  The process of rationalisation can at best reduce the irritants to some extent and make the relationships tolerable.  But in this, there is no scope for joyous living.

For a joyous living one has to look for some other process – a process of transformation which results in increased level of acceptance in us.  If acceptance arises, one is in harmony with everyone and everything around and the question of repression or sacrifice does not arise.

Before coming to the process of inner transformation, it would be better if we first understand the reasons for non-acceptance or disharmony.  The level of non-acceptance in fact depends on intensity of our likes and dislikes.  These in turn depend on our ideas of good and bad, or so to say, our social conditioning. These ideas and conditioning constitute our personality or mind.  If we have rigid notions about right and wrong or good and bad, our personality, a false sense of self (ego), is strong.  We would then have strong likes and dislikes.  Since most of the external situations (including the behavior of our family members and friends) are not going to be exactly as per our likes and dislikes, they would trigger emotions like anger, violence, depression, fear etc. in us and cause all kinds of complexities in our mind and relationships.  The demolition of this false sense of self, the personality, is thus the only way to become more and more accepting and capable of living in harmony with the persons and the existence around.

The demolition of mental constructions or false sense of self or ego – the process of inner transformation – is the aim of all spiritual sadhana.

Once, one is in harmony with the persons and things around, one is in paradise – always joyous.  It also requires to be clearly understood that sadhana does not lead one to a disinterested kind of life but to a fuller life – capable of enjoying everything and every situation.  Sadhana is the only way to live life like a king and not as a beggar – always seeking attention, love and appreciations from others.

Guru shows the way – follow it – never to regret later.

One more thing to understand – the existence or the God or any Guru cannot force any thing on any body.  If it was possible, one Krishna or one Buddha, with the compassion they had for all the suffering in this world, would have made the entire world free of suffering and enlightened.

If one is open, willing and aspires for some change, only then he can help remove the obstacles.

Universal love and service

Indian mystics and Sufi saints searched for the source of creation by going in, having experience of that consciousness and then seeing (experiencing) THAT in everyone and everything around. Universal love was the outcome.

Some (like Christians) search for the creator through service of living beings.

Religious people mainly do good deeds (serve others) for improving their own lot in this life or the life hereafter or for avoiding suffering.  Basically they are driven by greed and fear – not by a genuine desire to serve and seek.

There are many others (propelled by Rajas and Tamas) – social workers – who acting through their egos (as if they have been entrusted with the task of forcing others to mend their ways), take upon themselves the task of improving things around (civilization, environment, animals, old structures etc.).  In many a case their initiatives are born from deep sense of fear at sub-conscious level of their minds – not out of love and compassion.  Ego or fear drives most of these social workers (including some politicians).

To give an example, one of my friends was in the grip of strong sense of fear.  If a plane was passing over, he had the fear what if this 250MT of metal falls over my head.  He had dozens of old cars.  He used to clean, repair and look after them.  One day he brought an old Mercedes car.  He told me they were taking this poor thing to junkyard!  I saved her and brought her here.

Destruction and creation is normal cycle of existence.  Can one really save anyone or anything and for how long?  In this infinite existence, galaxies are sucked into blackholes and others come out – what to talk of saving something on this earth.  Death and destruction leads to creation! The elements of junked car would bring a new one into existence (not directly).  Trying to save it is an act born out of ignorance and does not really help – it is in fact inefficient use of resources.

If there is nothing right or wrong, how are the bad Karmas accumulated?

A friend has asked if there is no right or wrong how do we accumulate these bad karmas and when we talk about mind being the culprit and not the external situation – by believing that "its not others fault and we are paying for our own karmas" – are we not conditioning our mind towards hope, to get us out of the suffering. Are we not resorting to mind again to reduce our suffering?

Your questions are beautiful! These questions bother everyone who cares to think. A brief background before I venture into answering these.

Those who know say that everyone and everything which we can perceive and also that which we cannot perceive is manifestation of that ONE (Consciousness or Parmatma). Science also says that everything is manifestation of ONE (Energy). When everyone and everything is manifestation of ONE, so intrinsically there is nothing right or wrong (everything and everyone having come from the same source).

The question that naturally arises is that if nothing is right and wrong, how can one do a wrong and how can one accumulate bad Karmas?

Further as discussed in my post on the blog titled, “Reactions are ours – we can transcend them”, we suffer because of our reactions to situations and not because of situations as such – the mind is thus the cause of all our sufferings. If it is so, another question arises, “can we use this mind to get out of suffering?”

It is fascinating to note that these questions arise and survive despite clear answers by the seers! This happens because of different levels of consciousness of the questioners and the seers.

Seers are established in that ONE and in their state duality does not exist – at that level nothing is right or wrong – for this reason it is said that rules of social conduct do not apply to Yogis. A seer, therefore, does not accumulate any Karmas, good or bad.

Whereas we (having no experience of that ONE - very few sadhakas have a faint glimpse) perceive through discrimination on the basis of inputs received through five senses. Sense organs alone are the instruments we are capable of using to know the world (persons and things – those with Naam and Roop). Obviously then these perceptions involving opposites (beautiful or ugly, harmonious or jarring, palatable and not palatable, rough or smooth, cold or hot) appear to be real. These perceptions then lead us to an understanding that certain things are desirable and considering others as avoidable (giving rise to Raag and Dwesh). Social conditioning (value system) is another very powerful input in creating preferences and prejudices in us. We thus get established in duality and consider things as good or bad, right or wrong and moral or immoral.

This duality is an illusion created by the mind (based on perceptions and conditioning) – it exists only in the mind – intrinsically everything and everyone is manifestation of that ONE. Only problem with us is that we have not worked for and have not experientially known that ONENESS.

Now coming to the concept Karma, one can try to understand it by considering as if there is some recording mechanism in us where whatever we feel (desires and reactions) or do intentionally (act done with a sense of doership – Karta Bahav) gets recorded (mun ka Sanskarit ho jana). And that we are born with a software (Mun which has a set of instructions – prakriti ke niyam). When the software runs on Sanskars, it (Mun) creates situations and relationships which could be pleasant or unpleasant depending upon nature of Sanskar. Isi ko kaha jata hai ki Jiva apne karmon ka phal bhogta hai – one reaps the consequences of one’s Karmas.

It is fact that a Jiva [Linga Sarir – consisting of Atma covered with Mun, Buddhi, Ahankar (ego – sense of ‘I’) and five senses] undergoes consequences of his Karmas through bodies which it acquires birth after birth. For a Jiva – Atma identifying itself with body and mind – right and wrong bring their consequences.

Now there are two ways of going through a situation, one way is the way of acceptance and another way – a way of reaction.

When there is acceptance for every situation (knowing that it is a result of our own Karmas - an automated output given by the software consequent to the the input in the form of Sanskars), we are at peace with others as well as ourselves. We do not blame anyone for our circumstances and go through the life without anger, guilt, jealous, greed etc. In other words we are not aiming at avoiding an unpleasant situation or trying to create a favourable one. When our actions are not accompanied by reaction or desire, these are not Karmas (known as Nishkaam Karm - there is no recording of these actions) and will, therefore, not bring any further consequences – there will be no creation of Karmic Baggage (creation of fresh Karmas is called as Agami). Prarabdhas (quota of good and bad Karmas released for this life) are thus lived through and no Agami is created. As for the old accumulated Karmas (called as Sanchit Karmas), they may not have to be lived through as they can be burnt by sadhana or Guru's Grace (and one has to make oneself eligible for Grace by sadhana and devotion). Free of Sanskars, Jiva is liberated on exhaustion of Karmas - Atma becomes one with Parmatma.

But as I may have said in some earlier mail, faking will not do. This acceptance has to arise – trying to accept situations through the conscious mind alone will not do – trying to accept itself points to non-acceptance within.

On the face of it, it appears to be difficult situation since we can only try and if that will not do, what are we supposed to do? Situation is, however, not as bad and there is no reason for despair as through the processes of satsang, meditations (includes chanting) and reading of shastras; acceptance will gradually but surely arise.

On the other hand when one chooses path of resistance – actions are done with reaction or desire – these are seeds of new Karmas which will bring their own consequences. Vicious and unending cycle of Karmas and their fructification (both bad and good) will continue.

So it is not a question of one or others being right or wrong. It is a question of living one's life as it comes (a natural unfolding of Prarabdha) without reactions and desire – knowing that all one gets (good as well bad) is what one deserves – there is no injustice in the existence. Nothing then touches one (Jyon ki tyon dhar di ni chadaria – as Kabir says).

To make it a little more explicit – a judge, policeman or army personnel may, in the performance of their duties, cause death of a person – it is not a Karma as it is not done with any motive. There will no consequence. But if one kills a person out of greed or vengeance, it becomes a Karma and consequences will follow. Similarly physical contact between two persons out of friendliness will just be an act with no consequence but such contact on account of seduction or force (rape) will be a Karma.

In fact, so called 'Good Karmas' are also not considered as good as they also bring their own rewards and by continuation of the process, in due course, one gets opportunity to do more bad Karmas resulting in suffering.

Established in knowledge that one gets what one deserves, one can very well enjoy one’s poverty or even confinement in jail - one's body may be in discomfort or pain but there would be no suffering.

So, in reality, there is nothing right or wrong in absolute sense (everything and everyone having come from the same source) but they appear to be so because of our preferences and prejudices caused by our perceptions and social conditioning. In one sense, one may call an act done without reaction or desire as right (OSHO ise hosh poorvak jeena kahate the) since it does not bring any consequences and others as wrong.

Actions propelled by reaction and desire thus are the cause of accumulation of bad Karmas (as the good ones are also not good, as mentioned earlier).

As to your second question, the process of acceptance is a process of de-conditioning of mind (not of conditioning of our mind towards hope) – removing its preferences and prejudices and notion of duality. For this purpose we need to disengage the mind from the outside and turn it inwards (and for that we have to use it – to lead it to its dissolution / transcendence) as I said in the article "Asakti in Paramatma Liberates".

We are not what others think of us

To a friend who felt hurt on being pointed out deficiency in his work in the presence of his sub-ordinate.

I can understand the feeling of hurt which you may be experiencing because I have gone through similar experiences in my life.

Later, after reading material on spiritual matters and taking to meditations, gradually I realised that how can opinion of others define me? Am I a product of others opinions? I continue to be what I am, irrespective of perception (good or bad) of others. So, I slowly grew confident (as a consequence of spiritual effort) and while trying to do my best, did not attach much significance to the opinion of others. My unusual attire is also a reflection of that.

Another thing I understood was that if someone else is unreasonable (and there will always be unreasonable persons around), why should I punish myself by feeling hurt for his fault? Punishing oneself for the fault of others does not stand to reason!

In my life, I have not humiliated anybody before others. May be, through this unintended incident (blunder), I am being made to serve some higher purpose. May be it is wake up call for you (from the slumber of taking this worldly existence as the reality) – a person with rare blend of sincerity, hard work, intelligence and constructive approach in life!

Our sincerity and devotion should be our strength, give us confidence and not make us vulnerable to opinion of others [as such opinions depend on the mental make-up of others (which has nothing to do with us), their information base (which could be inadequate) and even motivated] and make us suffer.

Recently our batch mate was given a 'Good' report by the Member (because of a frivolous complaint and having no information about the sincerity and integrity of the officer) and the officer felt as if everything in life is gone for him since in his view he had earned nothing other than reputation in the department (it was his only possession) and it was gone. He became very depressed.

One has, therefore, to acquire emotional strength and enable oneself not to get disturbed / carried away by the opinion of others.

If reading this, rings some bell or touches some corner of your heart, you may patiently and slowly read first four (from the bottom) articles on my blog.