Rasau va Sah

To a friend who is a spiritual seeker from young age and did not wish to get married – got married under instructions of his guru.

While describing the nature of Supreme being, the Upnisads say - Rasau va sah – He is Rasa.  The pleasure one gets through listening to the music is an echo of His Rasa.  The pleasure one gets through the copulation is a reflection of His Rasa.  If one follows the Rasa and dives deeper into it with awareness, one reaches its source, i.e., Him.  It is on this truth that many of the methods of meditation in Tantra Sutra are based.

Everything that exists – planets, plants, human beings, thought, greed, lust, compassion etc. – is manifestation of the same energy, i.e., Him.  Tantra, therefore, speaks of total acceptance.  To reject anything from the existence is His rejection.  When all seeming contradictions are supported by Him, who is man to accept something and reject others.  The idea of good and bad is created by the society for maintaining social order.  Intrinsically nothing is good and nothing is bad.  That is why social norms for conduct are not applicable to the seekers.

We fear enjoyment of objects and relationships, as in our experience they become bondage – one becomes habituated and seeks more of them.  Sooner than later such enjoyment results in boredom and suffering.  That is why on spiritual path, one is often advised to renounce objects and relationships.  But this is the path for the escapists.  More often than not for a person on the path of renunciation with advancing age and weakening willpower, the temptation and desires become irrepressible and one suffers more than ordinary worldly people. 

There are, however, a few seekers who tread the path of renunciation from the beginning and succeed.  They in fact are the one’s who have passed through the process of enjoyment of worldly objects and rose above their desires in earlier births.  They are not our role models.  That is why, your Guru advised you to enter the life of a Grahstha.  Professor Mungale also hinted at this.

No doubt, as Budha says, the desire is root cause of all suffering.  But to overcome desire one need not give up enjoyment.  Enjoyment with awareness is what fulfills and liberates.  If one holds back oneself while enjoying, remembering that one day one has to leave it, will not be fully into it and miss the point.  Anything done partially leaves the mind unsatisfied and the mind hankers for it.  This way one will never be free.  Total acceptance is the key as mentioned earlier.

In fact it is not the physical act which results in a consequence, i.e., Karma but the mental response.  Any act done without the sense of doer ship does not result in any Karma.  For example an army personnel kills enemy as a part of his duty, he is not affected by that.  This is what Krishna tells Arjuna.  In the same way it is not the physical act between man and woman which has adverse effect on Sadhana but the fantasy attached with it that has an adverse effect.  During our Himalayan excursion, Nityanandji explained this aspect and said that we have to be free of sensual fantasies and not the act of physically coming together with spouse.  In fact it is much easier to come out of fantasies and pursue Sadhana if physical aspect of sex is taken care of through the institution of marriage.

It is well known that most of our Rishis were men with families.  Devhuti, daughter of first king of this srishti, namely, Manu was married to a Brahamin Rishi, Kardamji.  Nine daughters were born to them who were married to the Rishis namely Marichi, Atri, Angire, Pulastya, Bhrigu, Vashistha etc [Bhagavatam (III.24 – 22 to 24)].

As mentioned earlier, it is much easier to be free of lust as a Grahstha than as a renunciant.  In Bhagavatam (III.14 – 19 & 20) Rishi Kashyap tells his wife Diti appreciating her contribution in his life – “It is very difficult for the persons in other Ashramas to subjugate the enemies in the form of Indriyas but it is won with ease with the help of one’s married wife and that one cannot repay this favour in this life or the life after.”

So true!

Another secret of successful life is that in a man woman relationship what is most important is mutual respect and appreciation of each others contribution in life.  Most relationships fail, become sour or indifferent because we take things for granted.  One should be grateful for everything done by the other.  One should approach one’s spouse with love (devotion).

While coming to the physical aspect of relationship, it becomes satisfying if one enjoys the touch.  The process of intercourse is momentary and does not leave one fully satisfied – mind therefore hankers for repetition.  On the other hand, one can remain in touch with once spouse for long time prior to or after intercourse or at any other time.  Most of the women in fact want to be in physical touch after the intercourse.  When the touch is accompanied by love, affection and a feeling of gratefulness; one is wholly with the experience of touch – mind does not wander.  This is one of the most effective methods of meditation.  Enjoy the life to the fullest with awareness and rise above!