In the summer months of 1985, we had gone to Allahabad, my wife’s place. I knew that elder brother of one of my batch mates was a disciple of Osho and that he was working as a lecturer in a degree college in Rae Bareilly, a town near Allahabad. I asked my wife that for a couple of days when she is with her parents, I will go to Rae Bareilly and learn meditations from him. She readily permitted me.
There, I stayed with brother of my batch mate and became a part of a small group of disciples of Osho meditating together every day. When I was leaving, they advised me that it would be much better if I go to Osho Ashram, Pune and join a five day meditation programme in July that year during Guru Poornima celebrations. While back to Nagpur, I asked my wife and she not only permitted me to go but also accompanied me to Pune with two little daughters and her younger sister. My sister-in-law participated in the meditations as well. There used to be five sessions of meditations [Dynamic, Nadabrahma, Nataraj, Kundalini and Darvesh (a sufi practice)] of one hour duration each.
All of us liked serene environment of the Ashram. My wife appreciated the expression of tranquility and love (devoid of any signs of passion) on the faces of the inmates / participants, particularly the foreigners while I seriously participated in all the meditation programmes.
Back home, I continued with my meditations, particularly the Dynamic and Nadabrahma meditations. I also, sometimes, used to try some other methods of meditations from Tantra Sutra like gazing into the clear winter sky, being conscious when one is on the verge of falling asleep, chanting “oooooooo…..” before going to sleep, a method relating to sexual intercourse etc. Within a few months, Chinese food was no more acceptable to my body – if I took it, I had to vomit. Another few months, and I developed aversion to cigarettes. If I had a smoke, I will have a bad taste and feel roughness in my mouth. So I had no option but to give up Chinese food and cigarettes. At that time, I did not know the reason.
Before that, on the advice of one of our senior colleagues, I started taking my children to a Homeopath (following classical system with long list of Do’s and Don’ts) for their normal problems like vomiting, loose motions, fever etc. I found that it acts much faster than the allopathic system of medicine. When I went to the same doctor with my problems, he refused to give me medicine unless I gave up all disagreeable items including drinks from my diet. I was not yet ready for it. Like others, at that time, I also used to feel that it is for the doctor to improve our system so that we can enjoy all goods things in life.
While on the issue of diet, I would like to mention what Osho used to say. He said, every animal instinctively knows what to eat and what not to eat and you have to ask me for that! The nature has given taste buds and smelling power to enable every creature to decide on food items. But human beings ignore the body signals [body adversely reacts to cigarette, alcohol, chilies, milk (after the age of two and half years) etc. but ignoring these signals we start and continue to force intake of such substances] – bio intelligence is thus suppressed and crippled by the mind which is driven by imitation and information input from parents, media (advertisements), researchers / doctors (their findings go on changing – many such reports are false and are manipulated at the instance of corporates) etc. Consequently, the body stops reacting and one foolishly believes as if one’s body is strong and it can enjoy and digest everything. This is one of the principle causes of failure of vital organs in human beings (as opposed to wild animals).
When one takes to meditations, the mind does no more have overbearing power and if one observes bio-signals (power of observation stands enhanced by meditations) and respects them, the bio intelligence is revived. In this state, the body may violently react to disagreeable substances – it is an attempt of the body to cleanse itself of the harmful substances (it is a strength and not weakness of the body). One then knows what is not good for the body and what not to eat. The respect for the body and enhanced awareness of its signals effortlessly leads one to abstain from disagreeable substances. One no more tortures this body for taste or wrong / motivated inputs from the outside.
While leaving Nagpur for Agra on transfer in the year 1986, a senior politician made a complaint against me. This made me determined to investigate the cases of biggest and most influential assessees only. I worked relentlessly and in due course (about five years), I was considered an ace investigator by my bosses and the desire for recognition and appreciation, which everyone has, got satisfied. One chain [desire for appreciation (as a measure of self worth) which makes one bother as to what others think of one] was thus broken. Complaint got turned into a great blessing.
In Agra, I suffered with skin infection and went to a renowned Homeopath (with modern outlook and not too bothered on following a diet regime). On taking the medicine, I used to have large number of painful boils with pus every month. This process is considered good by the Homeopaths as it results in release of toxins from the body. I continued to suffer for about 10 months and at the end of it the Homeopath gave up (not ‘I’) and on his advice I had to take strong injections of antibiotics to suppress the infection. In this period I could not meditate for various reasons [excessive workload in office, house with small rooms (Osho’s methods require bigger space) etc.].
Thereafter in the year 1987, on promotion, I got transferred to Meerut (I wanted to be there as I had bought a house there) but could not join there as the officer, I was to relieve, got his transfer order cancelled. I thus landed in Indore and got to live in a CPWD bungalow with large size halls and lawn. We had limited furniture and there was enough space for meditations (particularly Nataraj Meditation which involving dance) and play of my children. I took to the meditations with regularity and with all seriousness. The existence (Guru) arranges whatever one needs on this path.
In the beginning of 1988, my father-in-law, just about 48 years of age developed throat cancer. He was taking some Homeopathic medicine. But we forced him to go to Tata Memorial Hospital in Mumbai. They first treated him with Radiotherapy. After a brief illusion of successful treatment, it resurfaced and he had to be operated upon (Finally died in December that year). I and my wife often used to take him for treatment and check up to Mumbai.
While traveling in local bus to the Hospital and back in Mumbai, I used to attempt some methods of meditations from Tantra Sutra. For few days I tried a method which involves visualization of light in your heart which is spreading in the entire body. Another method involved visualization of darkness in the heart which is spreading in the entire body. These appeared to be contrary (light being sign of energy and life whereas the darkness being sign of peace and death) and made me aware that I may be attempting methods which may be in conflict with each other.
At this time, being in the Hospital everyday became quite heavy for me to bear. At that time, I got nominated for a five week training course in Lucknow. If I wanted, I could have got it cancelled. But internally I wanted to run away. I sent my sister-in-law and children to Mumbai to be with my wife and escaped to Lucknow. There, I continued with my meditations and wrote to Osho about my confusion on trying out a number of methods. He advised me to regularly do Nadabrahma Meditation and take to Gibberish and Vipassana, if I could do them as well. This is what he got communicated to me (letter dated Sept. 25, 1988):
“… to continue with nadabrahma meditation, but not with any of the other you are doing. Instead, before going to sleep, do gibberish for half an hour – that is, express all your thoughts and emotions, all the chaos and craziness of the mind, in nonsense sounds. Let your gestures be part of it too, for example shaking of head, waving of arms. Really throw everything out. Then keeping silent, lie down and go to sleep. In the morning, when you wake up, do vipassana for half an hour – sitting silently, watching each in-breath, each out-breath, see the thoughts come but just let them go by, don’t become involved with them…just be the watcher”
In the year 1988, when he responded to my letter, probably on the day of receipt of my letter itself (I got reply in about 7 days), he had millions of disciple from all over the world. I was surprised to get a quick response to my letter. But this is how Guru works. Genuine questions reach the Guru and get answered!
I started accordingly. After a few weeks, while doing Gibberish, I felt as if my mother is before me. I put my fingers in her collar bones and tore her apart (she used to scold and punish us when we were children). This provided release to my suppressed anger and violence. Immediately my anger came down very very substantially. On another occasion, I felt as if I am surrounded by ghosts (In my childhood, I used to take food for my father late in the evening by a road that passed by the side of a Banyan tree. It was said that ghosts live on that tree. A dead body of a murdered student of our college was also recovered from a field by the side of that road. I used to pass with fear though this road frequently) and I was trembling with fear. At that time a small self luminous body of Osho (size of a thumb) came and sat in my heart and from there he said “this is meditation – no harm will come to you – continue”. Armed with this assurance, I soon chased away all the ghosts. From that day my fear and anxiety also came down drastically.
Though I did not take Deeksha (initiation) from Osho (as it involved change of dress to that of a Sanyasi and wearing a Mala with his photograph even in office), when I needed him, he came and helped. After receipt of instructions from him, in a few weeks, my life was transformed (nothing much was happening before that). May be, I was initiated through that communications. It thus appears, form is not that material, it is the intent and thirst – seekership – that matters.
Around that time only, in my dreams, I saw Sheerdi ke Saibaba and another saint whom I had not known or seen before. On enquiry I came to know that he was Gajanan Maharaj of Shegaon. I thus understood the truth of what scriptures say – that even the Gurus who are no more in their physical forms and to whom a seeker is not even devoted, come and bless the seeker.
To be contd. …
There, I stayed with brother of my batch mate and became a part of a small group of disciples of Osho meditating together every day. When I was leaving, they advised me that it would be much better if I go to Osho Ashram, Pune and join a five day meditation programme in July that year during Guru Poornima celebrations. While back to Nagpur, I asked my wife and she not only permitted me to go but also accompanied me to Pune with two little daughters and her younger sister. My sister-in-law participated in the meditations as well. There used to be five sessions of meditations [Dynamic, Nadabrahma, Nataraj, Kundalini and Darvesh (a sufi practice)] of one hour duration each.
All of us liked serene environment of the Ashram. My wife appreciated the expression of tranquility and love (devoid of any signs of passion) on the faces of the inmates / participants, particularly the foreigners while I seriously participated in all the meditation programmes.
Back home, I continued with my meditations, particularly the Dynamic and Nadabrahma meditations. I also, sometimes, used to try some other methods of meditations from Tantra Sutra like gazing into the clear winter sky, being conscious when one is on the verge of falling asleep, chanting “oooooooo…..” before going to sleep, a method relating to sexual intercourse etc. Within a few months, Chinese food was no more acceptable to my body – if I took it, I had to vomit. Another few months, and I developed aversion to cigarettes. If I had a smoke, I will have a bad taste and feel roughness in my mouth. So I had no option but to give up Chinese food and cigarettes. At that time, I did not know the reason.
Before that, on the advice of one of our senior colleagues, I started taking my children to a Homeopath (following classical system with long list of Do’s and Don’ts) for their normal problems like vomiting, loose motions, fever etc. I found that it acts much faster than the allopathic system of medicine. When I went to the same doctor with my problems, he refused to give me medicine unless I gave up all disagreeable items including drinks from my diet. I was not yet ready for it. Like others, at that time, I also used to feel that it is for the doctor to improve our system so that we can enjoy all goods things in life.
While on the issue of diet, I would like to mention what Osho used to say. He said, every animal instinctively knows what to eat and what not to eat and you have to ask me for that! The nature has given taste buds and smelling power to enable every creature to decide on food items. But human beings ignore the body signals [body adversely reacts to cigarette, alcohol, chilies, milk (after the age of two and half years) etc. but ignoring these signals we start and continue to force intake of such substances] – bio intelligence is thus suppressed and crippled by the mind which is driven by imitation and information input from parents, media (advertisements), researchers / doctors (their findings go on changing – many such reports are false and are manipulated at the instance of corporates) etc. Consequently, the body stops reacting and one foolishly believes as if one’s body is strong and it can enjoy and digest everything. This is one of the principle causes of failure of vital organs in human beings (as opposed to wild animals).
When one takes to meditations, the mind does no more have overbearing power and if one observes bio-signals (power of observation stands enhanced by meditations) and respects them, the bio intelligence is revived. In this state, the body may violently react to disagreeable substances – it is an attempt of the body to cleanse itself of the harmful substances (it is a strength and not weakness of the body). One then knows what is not good for the body and what not to eat. The respect for the body and enhanced awareness of its signals effortlessly leads one to abstain from disagreeable substances. One no more tortures this body for taste or wrong / motivated inputs from the outside.
While leaving Nagpur for Agra on transfer in the year 1986, a senior politician made a complaint against me. This made me determined to investigate the cases of biggest and most influential assessees only. I worked relentlessly and in due course (about five years), I was considered an ace investigator by my bosses and the desire for recognition and appreciation, which everyone has, got satisfied. One chain [desire for appreciation (as a measure of self worth) which makes one bother as to what others think of one] was thus broken. Complaint got turned into a great blessing.
In Agra, I suffered with skin infection and went to a renowned Homeopath (with modern outlook and not too bothered on following a diet regime). On taking the medicine, I used to have large number of painful boils with pus every month. This process is considered good by the Homeopaths as it results in release of toxins from the body. I continued to suffer for about 10 months and at the end of it the Homeopath gave up (not ‘I’) and on his advice I had to take strong injections of antibiotics to suppress the infection. In this period I could not meditate for various reasons [excessive workload in office, house with small rooms (Osho’s methods require bigger space) etc.].
Thereafter in the year 1987, on promotion, I got transferred to Meerut (I wanted to be there as I had bought a house there) but could not join there as the officer, I was to relieve, got his transfer order cancelled. I thus landed in Indore and got to live in a CPWD bungalow with large size halls and lawn. We had limited furniture and there was enough space for meditations (particularly Nataraj Meditation which involving dance) and play of my children. I took to the meditations with regularity and with all seriousness. The existence (Guru) arranges whatever one needs on this path.
In the beginning of 1988, my father-in-law, just about 48 years of age developed throat cancer. He was taking some Homeopathic medicine. But we forced him to go to Tata Memorial Hospital in Mumbai. They first treated him with Radiotherapy. After a brief illusion of successful treatment, it resurfaced and he had to be operated upon (Finally died in December that year). I and my wife often used to take him for treatment and check up to Mumbai.
While traveling in local bus to the Hospital and back in Mumbai, I used to attempt some methods of meditations from Tantra Sutra. For few days I tried a method which involves visualization of light in your heart which is spreading in the entire body. Another method involved visualization of darkness in the heart which is spreading in the entire body. These appeared to be contrary (light being sign of energy and life whereas the darkness being sign of peace and death) and made me aware that I may be attempting methods which may be in conflict with each other.
At this time, being in the Hospital everyday became quite heavy for me to bear. At that time, I got nominated for a five week training course in Lucknow. If I wanted, I could have got it cancelled. But internally I wanted to run away. I sent my sister-in-law and children to Mumbai to be with my wife and escaped to Lucknow. There, I continued with my meditations and wrote to Osho about my confusion on trying out a number of methods. He advised me to regularly do Nadabrahma Meditation and take to Gibberish and Vipassana, if I could do them as well. This is what he got communicated to me (letter dated Sept. 25, 1988):
“… to continue with nadabrahma meditation, but not with any of the other you are doing. Instead, before going to sleep, do gibberish for half an hour – that is, express all your thoughts and emotions, all the chaos and craziness of the mind, in nonsense sounds. Let your gestures be part of it too, for example shaking of head, waving of arms. Really throw everything out. Then keeping silent, lie down and go to sleep. In the morning, when you wake up, do vipassana for half an hour – sitting silently, watching each in-breath, each out-breath, see the thoughts come but just let them go by, don’t become involved with them…just be the watcher”
In the year 1988, when he responded to my letter, probably on the day of receipt of my letter itself (I got reply in about 7 days), he had millions of disciple from all over the world. I was surprised to get a quick response to my letter. But this is how Guru works. Genuine questions reach the Guru and get answered!
I started accordingly. After a few weeks, while doing Gibberish, I felt as if my mother is before me. I put my fingers in her collar bones and tore her apart (she used to scold and punish us when we were children). This provided release to my suppressed anger and violence. Immediately my anger came down very very substantially. On another occasion, I felt as if I am surrounded by ghosts (In my childhood, I used to take food for my father late in the evening by a road that passed by the side of a Banyan tree. It was said that ghosts live on that tree. A dead body of a murdered student of our college was also recovered from a field by the side of that road. I used to pass with fear though this road frequently) and I was trembling with fear. At that time a small self luminous body of Osho (size of a thumb) came and sat in my heart and from there he said “this is meditation – no harm will come to you – continue”. Armed with this assurance, I soon chased away all the ghosts. From that day my fear and anxiety also came down drastically.
Though I did not take Deeksha (initiation) from Osho (as it involved change of dress to that of a Sanyasi and wearing a Mala with his photograph even in office), when I needed him, he came and helped. After receipt of instructions from him, in a few weeks, my life was transformed (nothing much was happening before that). May be, I was initiated through that communications. It thus appears, form is not that material, it is the intent and thirst – seekership – that matters.
Around that time only, in my dreams, I saw Sheerdi ke Saibaba and another saint whom I had not known or seen before. On enquiry I came to know that he was Gajanan Maharaj of Shegaon. I thus understood the truth of what scriptures say – that even the Gurus who are no more in their physical forms and to whom a seeker is not even devoted, come and bless the seeker.
To be contd. …
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