Fear of illness and dependence

After crossing 50 or 60 years’ of age – on onset of old age – most of us pray for peaceful (painless) death. This is also generally believed that the persons with right conduct have peaceful death. When one undergoes disease and pain one, therefore, often wonders – why ‘me’ – what wrong did I do?

If we go by what we know about great one’s, it does not, however, appear to be true. Christ and Mansoor were killed (their bodies subjected to great pain), bodies of Ramakrishna Paramhamsa and Raman Maharishi suffered prolonged pain because of cancer. Same was with Osho whose body is understood to have been damaged by Thallium radiation and suffered lot of pain.

Thus there seems to be no connect between conduct (including spiritual attainments) of a being and the manner of death. Disease (pain) and death are as much and inseparable part of life as birth and growing up are. The question or feeling of ‘why me?’ is, therefore, not justified. Contemplation over this may remove lot of anxiety and suffering.

Coming back to the deaths of great one’s, only difference between their death and death of others is that the evolved one’s have no identification with their bodies – while their bodies are in pain, they do not feel as if it is happening to them. It may be compared to something like the way we do not suffer when an unrelated person is in pain in a distant place (out of our sight).

Another aspect of the matter is that one suffers if one has unfulfilled desires at the time of death – one does not want to leave as this body is considered to be the vehicle for fulfillment of desires – it is forced uprooting.

Instead of worrying (and suffering) and praying for a peaceful death, it would be wonderful if one prays for extinguishment of desires, consciously tries to drop the habit of controlling situations in the home and workplace, withdraw from the active decision making and leave them to the generation next – believing in their intelligence and capabilities. In any case, when one is away or gone, others are managing the house and workplace – why make a fuss when one is present on the scene! One may, of course, share one’s experiences and make suggestions (give inputs – like patrons or presidents in parliamentary democracy) with no urge (agrah) that they should be acted upon.

This corresponds to our idea of Vanaprastha.

And of course one must take to some spiritual practice (only Purusharth) so that identification with body and mind is at least loosened a bit. One need not wait for it till one crosses 50 or 60 years of age - sooner the better!