Adversities and evolution

To a dear who sent me a SMS : “Wo path kya pathik kushalta kya, jis path me bikhre shul na ho. Navik ki dhairya pariksha kya, Yadi dharen pratikul na ho.”

No doubt we develop skills, grow in strength and rise on facing adverse circumstances. It is same for external pursuits as well as for inner exploration.

A story. Crop of a farmer sometimes used to get destroyed by excessive rains, storm or lack of rain. One day while he was praying and complaining about his loss, God appeared and asked, "What do you want?" The farmer said that with due apology I want to say that you may have created the world but you have no idea about farming. I can show you how to manage it if you give me power to manage weather. The God agreed. Farmer managed rain and sunshine according to requirement of the crop and of course there were no droughts or storms. The crop grew very well with large balian. But when it was time to harvest, there were no grains. He prayed again. God appeared and the farmer asked him the reason. The God said just take out a plant from the field with its roots and see. The farmer found that all the roots were on the surface – none went deeper – as the water and other nutrients were readily available on the surface itself and there were no storms.

I also got initiated into spiritual quest as I suffered a lot with anger and fear and wanted to be free of them. But for anger and fear and consequent suffering, I would not have had enough motivation to persevere in my quest.

But this is only half the truth.

We know it too well that what we get in the external world is not the result of our intelligence and effort alone. If one pauses and looks around, one would surely find that some times one gets a thing for which one has not worked and sometimes with all the efforts, one fails. There is something mysterious about it.

One also knows that there are more intelligent and laborious persons who have not risen in life whereas there are others who are not that intelligent and laborious and are doing very well.

Another story. After his death Pope went to the door of the Kingdom of God. He found the door closed. He was surprised as he expected that there would be a rousing welcome on his arrival. He waited for a while but no body opened the door. Then he knocked at the door. After a while some body looked from a little window and asked, ‘Who is there?’ The Pope said, "I am Pope". The gatekeeper asked ‘Pope! never heard of anybody in that name.’ Pope now had to introduce himself. He said I am the representative of God in Rome. ‘Rome’ – where is it? Pope told him, it is on the Earth. The gatekeeper had not heard of earth either. Then Pope went on to explain that it is planet in Solar system. Being unaware of that also, Pope told him it is in the galaxy called Milky Way. By this time the gatekeeper was exasperated and asked, “Don’t talk in riddles. If you have index number of galaxy, please tell me, I would try to locate.” Existence is so vast that this galaxy in which light takes a few years to reach earth from some of the stars is insignificant. Such a vast Existence is managed by some energy. Millions of stars continue to be born and die.

When galaxy itself is insignificant what about our earth, our town and our contribution for its progress and sustenance?

Those who have known the mysteries of life say that in the external world we will normally get (by way of relationships, material things etc.) what we are destined to get as per our Prarabdha. Some changes are possible through some practices given in Shastras or blessings of saints – they may not however always work – it depends upon how powerful one’s Prarabdha is.

This being so when our aspiration or effort is in harmony with what we are destined to get, we have illusion of succeeding. And when our aspiration or effort is not in harmony with what we are destined to get, we either put the blame of the failure on others (or fate) or have illusion of failure on account of lack of effort.

There is thus nothing like success or failure. They are illusions (difficult to understand through the conscious mind but true). It is all a mysterious play.

Another view I would like to share with you is that all of us [our bodies (beauty, shape and size of limbs), intelligence, skills and other attributes like laziness, perseverance etc.] are the products of genetic coding and social conditioning (both external – as Kabir says "Mera mujh mein kuchha nahin"). There is, therefore, nothing to feel proud or ashamed of. If we understand it deeply, an acceptance for Self will arise. Once we develop acceptance for ourselves – as we are – it will be natural (in due course) for one to accept others as they are. And the tendency of expecting or bringing improvement in others - which causes all discord in relationship - will vanish. We can then live in harmony!

The life is mystery and everything here is a play of existence – limited ego of a person wants to believe as if it can make a difference and suffers when things do not go the way one wished for. One who takes life as a play of existence and takes part in the play with sincerity (making reasonable use of the attributes of body and mind with which one is endowed with) but at the same not getting involved in it (because it is a mere play), acts in a relaxed manner and enjoys the play (life as it is).

Feel the mystery of creation and dissolve the ego

To a young friend who wishes to know how to make a beginning on spiritual path

First of all I apologize for not responding to you for such a long time. May be I was also not sure what to tell you. Not that today I am clear on that. This is a field where more you pursue the path, pretensions about knowing fall aside and more ignorant you feel (You already feel ignorant – a very good sign for a seeker!). The existence is so mysterious, it overwhelms the serious seekers. Even scientists like Einstein wonder at the end.

This feeling of wonder is beautiful and liberating. It takes one forward on the path of dissolution of this limited "I" and consequently, those who know say, one merges with the ultimate – the purpose of creation is complete.

If one looks at the process of physical growth of a person, is it not a wonder how from a single cell, eyes, ears, liver, heart, bones, hairs etc are created. How does the food get converted into blood, flesh, bones, semen etc? How do we continue to breathe and how the body continues to recharge itself? All these are taken care of by some higher intelligence. If all these things were left to us and we had to consciously manage them, we could not have survived for a moment.

Is it not a wonder in whatever direction you put a seed in the soil, how the roots always go down and the leaves and stem come up – against gravity? How does it flower?

In this existence a bee or an ant works tirelessly whereas a python rests and waits for the food – all live their usual life spans, first two with frantic activity and the later one without any appreciable effort. Jelly fish without mouth, eyes, ears, stomach etc. enjoys her life fully.

If we delve deeper into this mystery; our pretensions of knowledge, effort and contribution to the family, organization and society which support our ego cannot survive for long.

It is the sense of "I", the ego, that is the root of all ambition, aggression, hurt, anxiety, fear, guilt etc. These emotional reactions are the root cause of all the questions (confusions) in the life for which answers are not easy to come. And any answers given by somebody else do not help. Answers have to arise from within through a process of evolution.

Evolution is a natural and long process. Finally everybody will reach. Spiritual practices hasten the process of evolution. What may be achieved in a natural way in thousands of lives may be achieved in one life through spiritual practices.

One can make a beginning from anywhere (better to begin with some authentic source, i.e., from a living master). Once the thirst is there, someone will come and make the correction.

One cannot go wrong on this path.

You have the thirst. Otherwise at your age, no one is interested in the questions relating to life.

You are blessed!

Spiritual quest – when?

One friend asked, "If one is fine with the way life is going with usual pleasures and pains, is it necessary to go in for any kind of spiritual practices?"

Answer will be, "There is no need". For such a person time has not yet come. In this state of mind even if one takes to some practice, one would not be able to continue with that as there would be no compelling reason / force or motivation.

But it is also a fact that we are not limited beings - limited by our bodies and minds - but have the very source of creation within us. Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva says that he is not against small pleasures of life like having a few drinks, he is not judging whether it is right or wrong to do so, but it is pity that people settle for such small things when much bigger treasures are waiting to be experienced within.

If listening to someone like him speaking about the ultimate peace, love and joy within us, one out of greed takes to some spiritual practice, as mentioned earlier, it will not last long. Further, charmed by the powers which evolved ones have, there is also a danger of one going for acquiring Siddhies and get derailed - moving from bad to worse.

It is for this reason that normally Gurus advise persons like my friend to continue their lives as usual. Life in it's normal course (though a hard way) will take one to the first truth of which Bhagwan Buddha spoke – life is suffering (Jeevan dukha hai). Unless one has realised this truth, one cannot go into the 'reasons for suffering', 'ways to be free of suffering' and reach 'a stage where there is no suffering' – other three truths enunciated by Bhagwan Buddha.

Till then one could read autobiographies of some saints, read some spiritual texts and casually visit some saints and even sadhakas. Whatever needs to happen, will happen.

Another question is that there are persons who suffer immensely and still do not turn spiritual – why? This happens because of low level like energy (Pran) or predominance of Tamas. Such persons are incapable of coming out repetitive thought or emotional patterns on their own and are susceptible to depression and addictions. They need to force themselves or be persuaded by someone into methods of meditations involving vigorous physical activity or deep and fast breathing (like meditations given by Osho, Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva, Paramhamsa Nithyanand and Sri Sri Ravishankarji). If interested in knowing more on this issue, one may refer to earlier posts dated 29.06.2011 and 06.08.2010 titled “Clear the subconscious first” and “Mental trap – dwelling into past and future”.

One or many a Guru

Many of us feel that one should follow one path and one Guru. That one could be initiated only by one Guru. Following many Gurus and practices is something like digging wells at various locations, not going deeper in any one place. These efforts will go waste.

There are,however, innumerable examples of evolved souls like Bhagwan Buddha who on the way got assistance from many a master. We are complex beings and need chiseling from many directions to break our mental constructions and make us truly free of barriers.

It is rare that one meets the final guru in the very first instance (this might happen in the cases of very evolved souls). Further, a guru may be enlightened but may not be one’s guru. In the biography of Shri Sai Kaka it is mentioned that he met a number of enlightened masters before he found Baba Muktanandji. Normally, one is led from guru to guru as is the case with formal education at different levels. There is book titled as ‘Towards the Silver Crest of the Himalayas’ published by Bhartiya Vidya Bhawan (name of the writer is Shri G. K. Pradhan) which brings this aspect of sadhana very beautifully. It is a light, instructive and interesting book. There is another great autobiography titled "The Journey Home" by Radhanath Swamy (he is with ISKON now) which descibes spiritual journey of an American which obviously includes search of a master.

Almost every beginner on the path has a question as to how to identify a Param Guru. This issue is discussed at length in one of my earlier post dated 14.08.2010 titled "Spiritual practice from an authentic source - finding a Guru". In brief, Guru-geeta puts it in two verses as under :

Yashya darshan-matrena mansah syat pasannata,
swayama bhooyat dhratis-shantih sa bhavet parmo guruh.

"If just a look at the guru creates happiness in the mind and patience (dhairya or contentment) and peace come on their own, such a guru is Param Guru."

Yashay smarana-matrena gyanum-utpayate swayam,
sah eva sarva-sampattih tasmat-sampujyed-gurum.

"One whose remembrance by itself reveals gyan (awareness of the self – feeling of joy), he is endowed with all the qualities (sampada). We should worship such a guru.

Once I was sitting with Shri Vrijeshavaraji with my co-brother who is yet to enter into the field of spiritual quest. On being asked how to find a guru, he simply said ‘Keep meeting the saints and wherever you feel peaceful and joyous, sit there.’

Though, in fact there is only one guru (Guru Tatwa) who appears in many bodies, we are receptive to different physical manifestations of Guru at different stages of our evolution.

The test whether we are on the right path is whether our spiritual pursuit is making us free from compulsive urges of our body and mind. And whether we are growing in our effortless acceptance of the acts of others, which we are programmed to treat as wrong? Do we find that we get only that what we deserve and there is nobody who is trying to be unkind and unjust to us? If answer is yes, we are on the right path. Otherwise one may have to move on.

In earlier posts I have discussed as to how I was helped by different masters at different stages. I have in fact been told by many a Gurus that I am helped by the blessings of many. Nithyanandji once said that one should go to as many gardens as possible, collect flowers from everywhere and make a garland out of them.

As mentioned in earlier posts, I started with Osho (1985). I followed his methods of meditations for years on end (17years). After physical absence of Osho, I continued in touch with him through his books, CDs and Swami Anand Gautam, a close disciple of Osho who was also running a meditation centre at Indore for more than 30 years. This removed lot of negativity from me, particularly relating to anger and fear.

Then I came in contact with preceptors from Vipassana. This put an understanding – everything which can be perceived with senses, is momentary (Anitya - transitory) – into deeper layers of my mind, and may be, into bio-memory of body cells. This has the effect, one involuntarily knowing, “This too shall pass”. With this experience, negative circumstances (relating to health, working environment etc.) cannot bog one down.

Thereafter, I was led (Osho’s assertion that living master is a must) to be in touch with Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva. Following his practices quite vigorously, I became open to subtle energy available in temples, samadhis, and around evolved persons. Incidentally, these practices substantially freed me of dominant sexual urge and got me rid of Tamas (Paramhamsa Nithyanandji says that 90% of Sadhana is breaking Tamas).

These were initial years (1985 – 2004).

They say that guru appears when Shishya (disciple) is ready. It is at this stage that I came in contact with B. P. Gaur saheb and through him with Professor Mungale, Supeji and Paramhamsa Nithyanandji. Gaur saheb and Professor Mungale started to lead me in their subtle ways. With Paramhamsa Nithyanandji, I went through all his meditation programmes including Deeksha for healing, had several one-to-one interactions and went with him on 15 days teertha yatra to Himalayas. Being with Paramhamsa Nithyanandji and following his practices, energized some of my chakras and cleaned them – made them faultless – as Professor Mungaleji observed.

On the way, I met Shri Sai Kaka, a close disciple of Baba Muktanandji (of Ganeshpuri), Shri Prahlad Shetty (a tantrik), Shri Vrijeshavara (a highly qualified scientist, renunciant and a guru – now teaches the path of devotion – chanting name of Rama), Janglee Maharaj, Maa Amritanandmai, Satyamitrananji and others.

Repeated visits to Shri Raj Supe and Shri Vrijeshavara put the idea of japa in my mind. When I made a mention of it, Professor Mungale was very happy and asked me to go for it. I started japa and started enjoying it.

It is at this stage that Professor Mungale found me fit for Deeksha and gave me Mantra. Here I would like to add that one can be accepted as a shishya and go on getting free of one’s negativities because of proximity with the guru and following his instructions but being fit to receive Deeksha appears to me a different stage.

Guru-geeta puts it in a verse as under :

Chitt-tyag-niyuktashcha krodhe-garva-vivarjitah,
Dvait-bhav-parityagi tasya deeksha vidheeyate.

"Such person is eligible to receive initiation who is free of anger, feeling of pride, duality and the one who is engaged in an effort to be free of chitt (here it may mean mana)."

Very next month when I received deeksha from Professor Mungale, I got deeksha from Shri Vithal Maharaj, Supeji’s guruji also. I am told by the masters that it is OK and finally all the practices and mantras will coalesce into one.

How were we … Part – XVI

Since early days into my spiritual quest, spiritual texts like Upnishadas, Bhagawat Geeta, Ashtavakra Mahageeta, Shiva’s Tantra Shutras, teachings of Bhagwan Buddha etc. interested me. I believed / assumed Puranas (without reading them) – containing spiritual teachings in story form – as of inferior value and meant for people with low intellect. Same with Ramayana, Mahabharata etc.

About a month after I returned from Himalaya Yatra with Nithyanandji, I was with Mungale Sir (August, 2007). He said, “Now that the seed of Bhakti has sprouted, it requires to be nurtured and for$that read Shrimadbhagawat till you live.” Though I was not inclined to read such a text because of preconceived notions but being an instruction from Guruji, I had to comply – limited mind easily yields to unbounded reach of the Guru.

Before continuing with the narration of events that followed, I would like to dwell on one aspect of Guru. Our preferences and prejudices is the ignorance because of which we feel as if we have an identity distinct from everyone and everything around – that distancing, that separatedness is the cause of all suffering. Without them we will be one with the ONE – relaxed in that unity.

A Guru (gu-ru) is the remover (ru) of ignorance (gu). He is the one who breaks (does not support) one’s mental constructions consisting of one’s preferences and prejudices (we are slaves to our preferences and prejudices) and thus releases one from bondage and consequent suffering. Osho used to say, “I will take away everything from that you think you have (identification with things and persons around) but do not have. I will give you that which you already have (consciousness within).”

Mind feels comfortable in any defined setting. That is how men everywhere form some kind of social, political, organizational and spiritual structures. Anything unstructured and it is insecure and shaky. To make this clear, Osho gave his followers a particular way of living, different from social way they were accustomed to – changed it after sometime. Gave another and changed that too. After a number of changes he said something like, “Whatever way of living I give, you adept to it and start feeling comfortable with it. I change it, you again adept and become comfortable. I expect you to be intelligent enough to understand that all this is arbitrary and that you need no way, a spiritual seeker has to drop all structures – live an unstructured life!”

Organised religions, business organisations and the politicians, on the contrary, support our belief systems and thereby our ego to garner our support and exploit us. A Guru will not do any of that.

Coming back to the narrative, I went to a bookshop (Vedant Book Depot, Chamaraj Peth, Bangalore) and asked for Shrimadbhagawat published by Geeta Press, Gorakhpur with slokas in Sanskrit and their Hindi translation. The shop owner, himself a good sadhaka, offered me to have a look on a few other books. I was not willing but he put “I am that” containing a compilation of questions and answers by Nisargdatt Maharaj. I had the intention to read this book but did not find in book stores which I casually visited in last few years. This overwhelmed me as he had put only that book before me first which I had been casually searching for few years. I said, yes, I will have that. Thereafter he put before me a few books by Swami Virajeshwaraji – I had never heard about him earlier. I glanced through the books and found them very good but did not buy as their contents were similar to teachings in Ashtavakra Mahageeta – I had listened to Osho’s lectures on that. He agreed and said that of course if you have read that, you do not need to read these books. He also briefly mentioned about Swamiji and that people find him to be a good saint. Contrary to my normal conduct in a situation like this, I made note of the address of Swamiji’s ashram in my mobile. Bought both the volumes of Shrimadbhagawat and came back.

I soon started relishing Hindi translation. Initially I was very slow in reading Sanskrit text of slokas but I persisted and gradually gained speed. But since, I did not understand much of Sanskrit text, I had doubts about efficacy of reading them. On being asked, all the Gurus (Mungale Sir, Supeji and Virajeshwaraji) emphatically told me that Sanskrit is Devbhasha and that it is not symbolic – the sounds in these slokas start revealing their intrinsic meanings on their own without formal instructions in the language – they help us even without understanding.

Now I am reading Shrimadbhagawat for the third time and find it to be one of the most profound spiritual text expounding deeper spiritual principles with the help of stories about various avataras of God and creation of existence. More of it in some later posts.

A few months later (end of 2007) Gaur Saheb visited Bangalore for an official meeting. He came a day earlier and told me that he has kept Sunday for me and that he will go wherever I wish to take him. In the morning we went to Supeji and Nithyanandji and came back home for lunch. There was no engagement for the afternoon. After lunch I asked him if he would like to go to a saint (Swami Virajeshawarji) whose address is available in my mobile but about whom I know nothing. He readily consented. We (Gaur Saheb, Aspatwarji and me) went to his Ashram situated about 70 kms from Bangalore. Road at that time was dug up at several places so we reached there at 5.50 pm and he permitted visitors only upto 6.00 pm. He was siting on a sofa and we sat on the floor in front of him. After initial introduction, he was silent – no expressions on his face sitting as if half asleep. We closed our eyes and set in meditation for a few minutes. After a while he said that it is time to close and that we could have a look on a few books which he had written. We purchased those books.

After coming out each one of us felt that he is a great saint and that we had experienced deeper states of meditation in his presence. But the period of our meeting being very little, the desire to devote more time in his presence remained. That took me to him again. Since then I have been going to him 4 to 5 times every year.

One of the books we purchased was his aoutbiography tiltled as “Scientist’s search for Truth”. From that I came to know that Swami Virajeshawarji hails from Karnataka. He did engineering from Bombay University in early 1950s. Did MS and PhD form US and served there in many research organizations. His last assignment was with IBM on development of super computers. He did not marry (used to have dreams from his childhood days that he is running away from Shaadi Mandapam) and all these years he practiced yogasanas, pranayam and meditations on his own with little assistance from a Guru living in Mahu, a small town near Indore through correspondence. He soon realized that all scientific research is very shallow (stories are created around very little material), researchers are interested in merely getting their papers published in reputed journals and that science has no answers to offer to questions relating to mysteries of life. Real answers will be found back home, he felt. Left everything and sat at the feet of a Guru in Rishikesh (Swami Vidyanandji).

He got experience of Samadhi in about 5 months on Deewali night and shared it with Guruji next morning and asked him if it meant "Realisation”. While approving, Guruji was scintillating with joy and added, “Now you have reached the stage of brahmavid, the knower of Brahma. You still have to continue your sadhana, until you see and realize Brahma in everything, all the time, not just a few times a day.” Thereafter Swamiji sat almost alone for next 30 years in sadhana.

Obviously first glimpse of Samadhi is so overwhelming that it appears to be final. This is where many a evolved sadhaka loose focus, get into sharing mode with others (create Ashramas) and fall down.

At that time, Guruji also told him, “You can write this information in a book form and publish it. Most of those who may read it will not understand, but even if one out of a thousand gets Realisation, it is worth it.”

I was reading his autobiography in parts on day-to-day basis. It was a coincidence that the day I was reading the Chapter “Revelation” referred to above, it was Buddha Poornima day and after reading a line or two, I would close my eyes, try to be in that space. Again read a few lines and again try to go into the experience. It took me more than an hour to read a couple of pages. It was a nice experience.

A few month’s before that Dhirendraji, my co-brother, had given me a book “Shri Naad Leelamrit” by Baba Sitaramdas Omkarnath. The book is on the role of Naad (Japa) and Jyoti. For a few years, I had been going to Supeji, a disciple of Babaji. As mentioned in my earlier post he advised writing of “Shri Ram Ram Ram” and chanting of Tarak Mantra. I was instrumental in taking many to Supeji and he suggested this to them with wonderful results. But I (foolishly) thought that I am following different path of sadhana and that Japa is not for me. I did not attempt it.

About a month after reading “Revelation”, I was sitting with Swami Virajeshwaraji. He told me that on every third Sunday of the month there is Naam Sankeertan and those who attend it feel its effect for a few days. On another occasion when asked about the way for sadhana, he had said that Ram Japa is the fastest, surest and easiest way. He said that for everything, chanting name of Ram is the remedy. Same thing was often said by Supeji.

Now when the suggestion for Japa comes from the stature of person of Swamiji who is great in the knowledge of science, technology and scriptures and has practiced many forms of sadhana through various methods of Yoga, Pranayam and meditations; mind cannot find any excuse to ignore it. Very next third Sunday I was there. Next morning I tried Japa as a form of sadhana and I was amazed to find that it produced the experience in a minute which I used to get in my way of meditation in more than half an hour. I started chanting Tarak Mantra.

Next month (July, 2008), I joined a two week course (Nithyanandam) with Nithyanandji. In this course he was repeatedly telling the participants that he will wipe out all their Sanchit Karmas. He also told that you will not know this but others will perceive the change. A few days after I went to Shettyji and while I was entering his place, he said something like, “Your jeeva has become so light as if it is floating / flying!” Next month I went to Mungale Sir and he said that all your chakras are now clean (faultless) and that now you have become fit for initiation. Something significant had happened in that course with Nithyanandji. And of course as he had said, I did not perceive it. But it was perceived by other Gurus.

In this meeting with Mungale Sir (August, 2008), I told him about the inputs suggesting Japa as a method of sadhana from books as well as Gurus. He was very happy to hear it (as if waiting to hear this from me - he himself was doing it) and said, “Bahut achha hai, wahi karo.” He asked me to come in November that year for initiation (giving a Mantra). In the meanwhile I started chanting Tarak Mantra.

In November I was initiated By Mungale Sir. A month after I was invited to a Satsang at the place of stay of Supeji where I was initiated by his Guruji, Shri Vithal Ramanuj Maharaj. Since then, in the mornings I have been chanting Mantra given by Mungale Sir and in the evenings that given by Vithal Ji. Rest of the time, whenever I remember, I chant Tarak Mantra.

Swami Virajeshwara Ji is the latest Guru whom I am fortunate to be in contact with on regular basis and Chanting of Mantra my latest way of sadhana.

I feel carefree in the knowledge that Gurus will reveal the path ahead! Content (in fact overwhelmed) with what they have given me, I am grateful for their grace – I cannot ask for more!!

Note : I have edited my post on "Ganga Snana" today by adding a quote from Shrimadbhagwat

How were we … Part – XV

Instructed by Shettyji, in July, 2007, I went for Himalaya Yatra (Haridwar, Rishikesh, Yamunotri, Gangotri, Badrinath and Kedarnath) with Swami Nithyanandji. Shri Satish Kumar, one of closest friends since my university days, also joined us. We had to assemble in Delhi for receiving instructions, a day before the tour. As front area at the meeting place was meant to be occupied by the devotees sitting on the floor, I was sitting at the back of the assembly on a chair (I have problem in sitting on the floor for long, more so at that time). I could hardly see him when Swamiji arrived. But in a few minutes, people settled down in such a way that I found myself having his unobstructed Darshan. We had to proceed from a place in Old Delhi early in the morning in about a dozen buses.

We assembled near the bus Caravan next morning with our luggage. It was still dark. Suddenly Swamiji came attired for the tour with all his malas and before I could properly see and wish him, he hugged me tightly (I can still feel that hug and the pressure of his hard and thick malas on my chest). I was overwhelmed by his affection! Such a wonderful beginning of the tour!! I was so overjoyed that I immediately shared this happening with my close relatives and friends through SMSs.

On our way to Rishikesh, first leg of the tour, I was sitting in the bus next to one Ms Kanthi (Guruji had instructed us not to sit with our friends and relatives). She had many questions. I was answering them. Conversation was long. This irritated a co-traveller. We continued with our chat even thereafter, although at a lower volume. Affectionate relationship with Kanthi continues to this day – we subsequently met several times in Bidadi Ashram as also at my home. I got to know her daughter also as we were participant in a course which we attended a year later. I got affectionately connected to her instantly.

In Rishikesh, marking the beginning of Yatra, Guruji gave us saffron cotton shawls which we were expected to put on all the time with vow of purity for the duration of the tour. He performed elaborate Abhishekam on the idols of Shiva and Parvati (Anandeshwara) there (and in all other sacred places everyday thereafter – these were being consecrated for installation in a temple at Los Angeles).

He also made us perform Shraaddha by having few til seeds in our hand and put them in Ganges while Swamiji was chanting some Mantras. As part of this ritual, we were also to keep handful of rice and curd mixture (probably it was rice and curd – I am not sure) on our heads and take a dip in Gangaji (it was my first dip in Gangaji though I had been to Haridwar and Rishikesh innumerable times, being a native of a place only 8 Kms. From Haridwar) – allowing the mixture to get mingled with its waters, remembering the departed souls in our families or in the families of our near and dear ones for their well being and release.

Our next stay was at some small place, about 10-20 Kms before Yamunotri. There Swamiji was elaborating on the Guru Puja Mantras in his morning and evening sessions. Each one of us was overwhelmed by the depth and vastness of the exposition.

There he allowed us to have a few of his snaps (otherwise it was not allowed). When I was ready to take a snap, he immediately came in Abhay Mudra. That photograph is one of my prized possessions today.

Next day we were in Yamunotri. I had carried some raw rice, as advised by Shettyji, which were boiled in the hot spring water and had as Prasad.

I had been meditating for number of years with practices given by Osho, Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva and Swamiji himself. But, I was not attuned to processes like Puja. On this tour, I saw him perform Abhishekam everyday in an elaborate manner. I tried to bring some feeling of devotion, but it did not materialize. I always thought this is what Bhakti involves and I do not have that in me.

Very next morning he started speaking on Bhakti and said that anyone who is seeking the truth (God) – the consciousness within – through any practice is a Bhakta. This removed that feeling of inadequacy.

In one of these meetings, he also spoke on three aspects of Karmas, namely, Sanchit Karma (accumulation of all Karmas over millions of lives), Prarabddha (Karmas released for this life to be lived) and Aagami (Karmas which we perform in this life which get added to Sanchit Karmas). About Sanchit Karmas, he told us that they can be burnt through sadhana or by the grace of the Guru in this life itself but Prarabddha has normally to be lived through. He also beautifully elaborated on how to avoid Aagami.

What he explained was that when as a consequences of unfolding of Prarabddha, we are in a particular situation, if we feel that it is a consequence of our own Karmas and that no one else is responsible for that, Prarabddha is exahausted (or lived through) and no Aagami Karma is created. But if we find someone else responsible for our situation and react or act emotionally (with a feeling that injustice is done to me or that God is unkind to me), this becomes Karma and becomes part of Sanchit Karma which will unfold in later lives.

For example (this example was not given by Swamiji), if one is bound to be a poor person in this life because of unfolding of Prarabddha, it is almost impossible to change it (in a rare case it may change because of grace of a Guru or one’s spiritual evolution which takes one beyond the law of Karma). But nothing prevents one from enjoying even when one is poor. I see children of beggars enjoying in heavy rain near a traffic signal (whereas a wealthy person in a comfortable car at the same signal may be a worried man) and there is nothing which prevent grown-ups to enjoy in the same way. There have been a number of artists and saints who enjoyed while living in poverty. It is a perception, a mental orientation. If we are fine, the way we are, there would be no Karma or Aagami. If we hold someone, our parents or the society or the God responsible for it, Aagami will get added to the bag of Sanchit Karma.

As for burning of Sanchit Karma or Aagami Karma through sadhana, I have one experience to share. At one point of time I had differences with one of my colleagues and had negative feelings for him. More than a decade later, I was practicing Vipasana. At the end of meditation, we were to chant “Bhavatu Sarva Mangalam” three times. Initially I used to chant it as a ritual. Slowly the bhava associated with the mantra starting becoming a reality and there was that emotion that let the God bless everyone. In that situation the first person whose remembrance arose in me was the person against whom I had hard feelings. When I shared this experience with Gaur Saheb, he said that the Karma created by the hard feeling is burnt by this bhava and now I will not have to face the consequences of that Karma (Aagami created by my reaction).

Coming back to our Yatra, on our way back from Yamunotri also we stayed in the same place. It happened a few times that when Swamiji wanted to address us (meeting place was in an open area), it will start raining. When it happened once again, Swamiji looked up raised his hand and said, “What is this? Whenever I want to speak, it starts raining. Enough is enough. Stop!”. Rain did not disturb our meetings thereafter in a 15 day tour and there was no blockage of roads due to landslides which is common in the monsoon season (it was month of July)!

In Badrinath Swamiji performed elaborate Shraaddha for our ancestors and friends again, whomever we remembered at that time. Each one of us went to him with til seeds in our hands. He poured sacred water on our hands so that til seeds are washed down on some Yantra amidst chanting of Mantras.

After our visits to Gangotri, Badrinath and Kedarnath on our way back to Haridwar, we stayed in Srinagar, a town before Rishsikesh. There Swamiji narrated an incident from his life when he was about 17 years of age and was suffering with diarrhea on the banks of Gangaji in Haridwar. While in a very bad shape, he thought to himself that in Bhagwat Geeta, Bahgawan says that if one is completely surrendered to him, he looks after his Yoga (to get what one wants) and Khshem (preservation of what one has) but here I am suffering. Bhagwan cannot be wrong. That means I am not fulfilling my part of the condition – being in a state of total surrender. He further thought that if this body and mind are not good enough to surrender to him, let them go (this brought that feeling of total surrender) – I have nothing to do with them.

Just then a sadhu came there with some food and medicine. He continued coming for a couple of days after that. Swamiji’s health started improving. He noticed that sadhu had tucked a pen with a sparkling jewel in his dress. This appeared to be a little unusual. On being asked, sadhu told his name as Shankar from a nearby Ashram. A few days later when Swamiji regained his health, he wanted to go and meet the sadhu who saved his life to express his gratefulness. On enquiry in that Ashram, a sadhu enagaged in Japa present there told him that there is no sadhu in the name of Shankar there. When Swamiji insisted that the name of this very Ashram was given to him by the sadhu who brought food and medicine to him, he got irritated and told him that there is no sadhu in the name of Shankar and that there is only one Shankar, an idol in the temple. Swamiji went to the temple and saw the same pen tugged in the attire of Shiva Bhgawan (On our was back to Delhi, we stayed for two days in Haridwar. While in Haridwar, he took us to this temple and the place where he was lying with his illness and Shiva came to give him food and medicine). He also saw the same plate in front of the idol in which sadhu came to him with food. On further enquiry he was also told that for a few days whatever naivadyam was offered to the Lord, after a while, when he (priest of the temple) went to take prasad, plate was found to be empty. The priest felt that some rat may be coming from some opening and eating it.

By now Swamiji knew who that rat was and realized that it was Shiva himself who came in the form of sadhu when he surrendered to the God. Swamiji further explained it to us that if Shiva just wanted to help him, a mere sankalpa was enough or he could have prompted someone to do it - there was no need for him to come physically. Shiva also left identifiable clues like pen with a jewel and a plate to make it obvious that he himself came. That means he wants us to know this. While narrating this incident, Swamiji exhorted Shiva for long, referring to some chanting of Raman Maharishi and others, to come in the lives of each one of us and show that what he is telling is the truth. That Shiva is not a mythological figure but actually walks on this earth. A very powerful atmosphere was created in the hall at that time. And this was the first time when a few tears rolled down my eyes in the presence of a Guru.

I had heard, tears mean opening of Anahat Chakra (heart chakra) and announces advent of Bhakti in one’s life. It also signifies one’s connection with the Guru. This got confirmed when we reached back to Delhi. There I went to meet Gaur Saheb and from his office called Mungale Sir to get appointment for my brother-in-law. Hearing my voice he asked me to give the phone to Gaur Saheb. Mungale Sir was very happy to tell him that my Anahat Chakra got opened-up and Bhakti Bhava has arisen.

Before concluding, I would like to narrate an unconnected incident showing how God supports faith of his devotees. On way to Delhi my friend wanted to meet his friends in IIT, Roorkee. I did not know anybody except a professor who had joined as lecturer when we were in that institution. He was not available in his office and I dropped the idea of meeting him - in fact I was not very keen. Taking a random round of the campus, I noticed his residence and thought of calling on him again. The door was opened by his wife and professor was out on tour to Delhi. Even when we were still settling down, she started telling me about the problems with her daughter who was working in Bangalore. She told me that she is a devotee of Hanumanji and has been praying for several decades. Her husband used to tell her that all this is nonsense as nothing good has happened in their lives. That morning she thought to herself that if no help comes today, she will stop praying. And the same day I was there as a help for her daughter in Bangalore (I was working in Bangalore that time). This is how God brings back the faith of devotees.

How were we … Part – XIV

As discussed in earlier two parts (Parts XII & XIII), Tantra like any other sadhana has two aspects, Sakaam (aspect which deals with material things in life like health, child, relationship, financial well being etc.) and Nishkaam (leading to freedom from ‘I’ and ‘mine’ or becoming one with the reality).

No doubt that the gains of Sakaam sadhana are impermanent as is the case with everything in the material world, in many a case this leads one to Nishkaam form of sadhana (as discussed in previous article on my blog about my co-brother who went for relief in stomach problem but soon got into Bhakti with no aspirations in the external world). In fact most of us approach the Gurus or undertake some form of sadhana with Sakaam Bhav and that is fine. In this respect there may, perhaps, not be any difference between Tantrik form or other forms of sadhana except that the Tantrik form requires greater discipline and close guidance and may work faster.

But when one takes assistance from a Tantrik – does not do anything on one’s own – perhaps, the benefit may come at the cost of something else (even the Tantrik may not know this). If one has read Shakespeare’s drama “Monkey’s Paw”, in that the Paw can grant any wish. A person throws the Paw as he realized that fulfillment of a wish results in some other loss. He warns the person who picks-up the Paw, but she does not believe him – one who had experienced it’s consequences (greed does not allow one to see the truth). She happily asks for a million pounds. Soon after her husband dies and she gets a cheque for one million pound from insurance company!

While on the issue I may narrate one of my observation also. One of the person known to me asks for a child from a Guru, he does not respond. Person again asks, Guru again does not answer (this, perhaps, meant that the couple was not get a child because of some Karma). Then they contacted a Tantrik and got the child. After a few months the husband died. It could be a coincidence. I asked Supeji, if death of husband could be related to birth of the child, he said that he would not say anything in respect of this particular case, but it could be so.

This ended my brush with Tantra.

I feel that one may seek material things in life through Sakaam sadhana (writing ‘Sri Ram Ram Ram’, chanting Tarak Mantra etc. or any other form prescribed by a Guru) but intervention by a Tantrik may not be desirable.

Now coming to one aspect of our (wrong) perception of Gurus, many of us tend to down-rate the Gurus who show miracles or heal persons approaching them – and thus loose opportunity to benefit from their grace. It is not that these Gurus are interested in these things and that they are interested in name, fame and material gains [Guru is too big for these – they may accept material things either for others (creation of infrastructure for devotees) or to respect the feelings of their devotees] but do it out of compassion for us. Miracle or healing is a device used by a Guru to put the mind (mind is extremely limited but thinks too much of itself) in awe. Mind put in its place, person starts realising that the Guru, though looks like us, is not one of us – he is too vast. This may lead to trust, surrender and Bhakti – dissolution of ego – fulfillment.