God as one of the acquisitions

A friend asked me a few days back as to whether one can see God. Responding to my statement that the spiritual quest would be in right direction if one’s pursuit is guided by the desire to loose one’s anger, fear, ego etc. rather than for getting anything (including any kind of spiritual experience), she asked, ‘What if one does not want to loose anything?”

There are two schools of thoughts on seeing the God. Dwaitvadi (believing in duality – God being separate from his creation) see the God as a physical reality. Adwaitvadis believe that whatever can be perceived is manifestation of God alone. It is like dance which has no existence separate from the dancer. All is God. God can, therefore, not be perceived as an entity other than its creation.

Both are right though it is difficult for the limited mind to understand. Mind is trained to think that something is right its opposite has to be wrong. But all the opposites and contradictions simultaneously exist.

The devotees (Dwaitvadi) like Meera, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, Ramakrishan Paramhamsa, Surdas (blind saint) see God as physical reality. There perception is at the level of Bhav (emotion). The infinite and formless intelligence (called God) can manifest in any form – all forms are his (In the next post I will be narrating an incident where a hugely built Muslim Saint transformed himself into a small statured saint to whom Aspatwarji was connected to). But seeing God is culmination of many lives of spiritual effort which leads one to a stage where one has no attractions in the external world.

In connection with other school of thought, one needs to understand that the mind is limited and can perceive only that which is limited, has a boundary and is circumscribed, i.e., the manifest world. Anything which is without boundaries (infinite) is beyond its perception. With all the advances of science we can observe some aspects (not all) of a minuscule fraction of the manifest world. And manifest part is only a minuscule fraction of the whole existence. The manifest springs up from the one which is unmanifest. And unmanifest is not subject matter mind. The ONE which we call as God is the one from which both manifest and unmanifest come. God can, therefore, never be perceived by the mind and, therefore, cannot be subject matter of ownership. It cannot be another feather in one’s cap. If one (a creation of God) limited being like us could perceive or possess God, one would become greater / more than God which is illogical and an impossibility.

A seed can never perceive the tree, it can become the tree. If a salt statue (made from ocean) tries to fathom depth and expanse of ocean, in the process it will dissolve into it and become one with it. It cannot know the ocean but can become ocean. The limited self (which we call as ‘I’) is dissolved into the ONE which alone exists and manifests in different forms. One cannot retain one’s identity and know the God. Osho used to say that there is NO GOD (as a person creating and managing everything) but there is GODLINESS (all pervading intelligence making things happen).

The limited self with sense perceptions can only feel the limited, i.e., the persons and objects in the external world. Logically also one can become boundless only by shedding one's boundary, i.e., our identity which limits us in every way. This is the only game where only those win who loose.

One cannot perceive but can merge into God when mental curtain gets removed.

The whole with human beings is that they identify themselves with the body, mind and things and persons outside each one of which is impermanent. This leads to greed and possessiveness . These lead to moha (attachments), anger, hatred, anxiety etc. which most consider as ornaments. Unless one finds them as chains and prisons (refer the post ‘How I was put on to the Path and got connected to the Gurus’) and tries to come out of mental slavery (please read the post titled as ‘Source of joy and mental curtain’), one would continue to be bound, limited and miserable.

‘If one does not want to loose anything’ and finds the worldly identifications (including body and mind) as ornaments and house and hopes for happiness through external pursuits, one has not yet realized the first truth “Jeevan dukh hai (life is sorrow)”. Time for spiritual quest has not yet come.

If one does not get it from Gurus (through Satsang – being with them) and Shastrapathan (reading of scriptures), one would learn the hard way – life will surely teach its lessons.

Intelligent are those who learn from experience (suffering) of others.

How was I … Part – X

I was introduced to Prarthana (Prayer through chanting of Mantra), as mentioned in my earlier post, by Mungale Sir which found easy acceptance in me.

Reflecting back, I feel that the ground for it was prepared earlier by one of the Osho’s books titled “Hidden Mysteries” sent to me by Swami Anand Gautam sometime in the year 2001 or so. In this book Osho says that he had been speaking against mantra chanting, temples and places of pilgrimages for the reason that many a seeker reading their efficacy from the scriptures get into these without knowing the ‘keys’ (keys are hidden – known only to the masters) which make them work for one’s evolution and thus loose the opportunity. He goes onto add that effort of an individual through meditation cannot take one far, it is as if is trying to cross an ocean by rowing a boat. If one knew the keys, place of pilgrimages are something like a place where favourable winds are blowing, one opens the pal and one sails through effortlessly with the winds.

Soon after that once I had been in Delhi and felt like buying some low priced editions of Osho's books from the publisher. There I picked up about 25 books containing lectures on saints of Bhakti period like Raidas, Rajjab, Paltu, Nanak etc. though apparently I was not a Bhakta. I relished reading each of these books and my attitude was getting molded effortlessly (reading Shastras is thus crucial).

Supported by such attitudinal modification, the understanding from the book "Hidden Mysteries", referred to above, was further strengthened when I became receptive to energies in the temples and also around evolved one’s in the year 2004 (consequence of following practices given by Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva for about one and half year on the base built by Osho in 17 years before that).

Thus I was smoothly led into Prarthana and my faith in its efficacy was strengthened by the feedback from my wife. But how could a Pooja performed by someone else (a priest) help a person, still did not make sense to me.

At this point in time Mungale Sir asked me if I could get a good piece of Sandal Wood for him for Pooja as one could get good quality in Bangalore. Since I did not know where to get it, I asked some of my friends. One of them told me that he will get it for me. When he came with a piece of Sandal Wood, I asked him from where did he get it. I wanted to know so that next time, if needed, I will get it myself. He told me that he also did not know but got it from one Swami V. S. Nayak. I was surprised to know that he knew Nayakji closely and could get me an appointment for someone (I myself had nothing to ask) whenever needed.

Actually having been told about him by my friend (Krishna Sahay), I tried to contact him a few times for resolution of problems of my friends and relatives, but could not get to him for a few months. Search for Sandalwood led me to Nayakji and opened yet another chapter in my quest.

As mentioned in one of my earlier posts, Shri V. S. Nayak was an upasak (worshipper) of Mukambika Devi and a Siddha. He could see past and future of a person and offer solutions through Poojas performed in temples (mainly Kuke Subramaniya Temple, near Mangalore). When in the temple and by the side of the idol of the deity, he used to see the life of the person in the flame of a lighted camphor as if he were watching a TV – after coming out of that temple room if somebody asked for some clarification, he used to say, "Do whatever I had said then. I do not know anything now". Meaning that instructions were a download from Devi and do not reside in his mind.

One day, I was just telling the experiences narrated to me by my friend to other friends. Two of them became very interested in meeting Nayakji. I got an appointment for them. Since one of them was a lady, I asked my wife also to accompany. Once their sitting with Nayakji was over, he asked us (me and my wife) to come inside the Devi temple where he gives predictions. Though we were not interested but having been asked by Swamiji, it was not appropriate for us to decline.

So we sat by his side facing the deity. He burned a Camphor tablet and looking into its flames told me that your spiritual quest will not progress further because of Sarp Dosha (a Dosha caused by killing of a Sarp by someone in the family). He further added that the spiritual quest is linked to awakening of Kunadalini (coiled Sarp at the lowest end of spine) which will not happen unless this Dosha is got removed by two day long Poojas at Kuke Subramaniya Temple. And let me add that this Pooja is performed at fixed (nominal) amount in the temple controlled by Government and no benefit would accrue to Swamiji.

Though, at that time, I did not believe that Pooja performed by a priest can make a difference, having invested over 20 years of effort in spiritual quest, I did not want to take even an outside risk particularly when no harm could accrue to me by getting the Pooja performed and the recommendation was not motivated by monetary consideration.

So we went to the temple and were there for two days as a part a group of large number of persons who came for Pooja (one priest for each family). We took bath in a nearby river early in the morning and went to temple for Pooja. Pooja was very elaborate and food (prasadam) was to be taken from the temple only. Temple is very well managed and is set in picturesque surroundings. We felt good.

Next month (May 2006), Sachin Tendulkar also went to Kuke Subramaniya Temple. At that time he was having fitness problems (back problem and tennis elbow) for quite some time which was affecting his game. The Pooja was performed by Nayakji himself and there was a lot of media coverage. After that Tendulkar has performed brilliantly and there has been no fitness problem.

As for me, though I cannot say it with certainty, if it were a consequence of Pooja, I had the good fortune to be with a number of masters and was blessed by three masters by their visits to my house in next one year or so. Nobody had ever visited my house earlier.

Visit by a master to one’s house is considered as a most auspicious event in one’s life and bodes well for all aspects of life more so for one’s spiritual quest.

My reservations about the efficacy of Poojas performed by priests fell off. In fact Bhagwan Krishna in Bhagwat Gita says that those who perform prescribed Poojas, Yagnas and Rituals to propitiate different deities, definitely get prescribed results. But he adds that like all other worldly things, these gains are impermanent. They will sooner than later vanish. So instead of seeking worldly objects through these Karmas, one should seek him!

Mr. Nayak was a very affectionate and a fat man. His loving hug made us so joyous. He always insisted on our taking prasadam at his place. We also participated in Chandi Homes arranged by him twice. On those days he appeared to be possessed by Devi (did not appear to be in his senses) and used to bless the devotees with many things, mostly worldly. When I touched his feet he blessed by saying “Devi ke purna anugraha ko prapt ho (receive complete grace of Devi)!” It was such a joyous and blessed moment!

After that we used to often go to him, not for asking anything but for the sheer joy of meeting him. I also took few of my friends and relatives for predictions to him and they got the Poojas performed as advised.

Now something about how Nayakji became a worshipper and how attained to Siddhies. He was a senior executive in a multinational company given to all good things in life, a party goer and a good eater. One night Devi came in his dreams asking him to give up drinks and western dress. Obviously he did not take notice of it – who takes such a dream seriously? The dream was repeated. He again did not take notice. Then he found that the western outfits in his cupboard are burnt. When he left a bottle of whisky on the table and went for fetching a glass, the bottle vanished. And these instances got repeated. He was, obviously, disturbed and agitated. Some of his friends told him it could be the work of some evil spirit or of a Tantrik and seek help of some Tantrik.

But he was a man of courage and did not seek external help for resolution of this problem. Instead he shouted in his flat asking the evil doer to appear before him. And Devi appeared with a smile and told him to do what she had asked him in his dreams as she had chosen him for some work. He was not given any option and was made to comply. He was instructed and trained by Devi in the performance of rituals relating to Devi Upasana directly by appearing in person or by leaving written instructions on the walls of the house. He had to give up his job and became very poor – family was in a very precarious condition.

One day Devi asked him to get up early in the morning and take bath at 4 in the morning. He said I will not take bath with cold water. If she wants him to get ready, she has to arrange for warm water. She did it for him.

On another occasion, to test him, Devi lied besides him in bed as a beautiful young nude girl. When he observed her presence and before he could get carried away, he suddenly became aware that it may be Devi herself. As soon as this realization dawned on him Devi was standing with an affectionate smile.

Narrating this incident Nayakji told me that for a Guru or a Siddha it is necessary to become free of sexual desire (turn celibate) as he would be coming in contact with young female devotees. Mind should not get an opportunity to surreptitiously come back and deceive one in believing that it a mere body to body relationship and that one has gone beyond that (a saint recently came in controversy because of this). Otherwise it may lead to his fall.

Slowly he was trained in rituals and finally when he passed all the tests, Devi asked him what does he want? He said, he did not want anything and it is she who has picked him up so she can give whatever she wants to give. But he added that he only wants one thing that when anybody approaches him with some problem, he should not be telling him that this is the result of his past Karmas and that nothing can be done. If one has to necessarily suffer consequences of one’s past actions, where is the need for going to a Siddha or temple or for praying to God? She said OK and blessed him with power to see the problems of devotees and offer solutions.

Thereafter with the blessing of Devi, he constructed a beautiful Mukambika Devi Temple in Bangalore and devoted his life to serve the devotees till he left us early in the year 2009.

To be contd. …

P. S. : In coming posts I will be discussing not only about ‘How I was put on to the Path and got connected to the Gurus’ but also about some of my fellow travelers. Therefore, instead of ‘How was I’, the header is changed to ‘How were we’.

… and mind leads to liberation

After reading my last post, a friend sent me a SMS saying, “Yes, mind is my biggest foe.”

Before one gets me wrong let me clarify that mind is the only assistance we have for coming out of misery and experience joy of liberation. For this one should again carefully read my post titled as “Asakti in Paramatma liberates”.

It is the mind through which one experiences the bondage, suffocation and suffering. It is the mind which reaches the conclusion that any effort in the external world cannot take one to a state of lasting happiness. It is the mind which then tries to find and finds a way out. It is the mind alone which then puts one onto the path so found and leads one to attain a state of completeness (not limited by the capacity of the body and mind), i.e., fulfillment..

Mind has to be treated as an innocent child full of energy and vigor. It has to be affectionately tackled. With freedom and love it will do your bidding and excel. Tackled with force, it will revolt, become perverted and complex and take one deeper into suffering. Bhagawat says, “Jab mann idhar udhar bhag jaye to use bahal fusala kar vaps le aao (when mind strays away from the spiritual practice, cajole it and bring it back to the practice).

Now one may wonder who is to tackle and whom? Can the mind persuade or control itself? Is there something other than the mind to guide it? In this connection, scriptures refer to four aspects of our being, namely, Mann, Chitt, Buddhi and Ahamkaar. These (aspects of mind) get activated in the presence of consciousness (Atma or Paramatma). Mann and Chitt are often used interchangeably.

Mann or Chitt aspect of our being is the one which in association with sense perceptions [Ras (taste), Dhwani (sound), Roop (sight), Sparsh (touch) and Gandh (smell)] develops craving (moha) or aversion (raag and dwesh) for the persons and things in the manifest world and thereby becomes attached to them. When things do not go as per its preferences or prejudices, it is thrown into anger, fear, guilt, depression etc. And this is what suffering is.

Buddhi (an aspect of mind only) is something like a processor in a computer. Based on the software application (value system received from external sources), it can analyse the information and give an output (decision). A person borne in a Hindu family has one set of value system and his preferences and prejudices will be shaped by that. A person indoctrinated by terrorists will find a cause to bring about destruction and sacrifice his life for that.

Buddhi is part of body and is jad (not conscious). The scriptures proclaim, “Buddhi mein kabhi gyana shakti nahin hai (Balkand 7-36, Adhyatma Ramayan)”. But coming in contact with consciousness (atma), some consciousness manifests in it. And consciousness coming in contact with boddhi aquires the sense of Karta and bhokta, i.e., Ahamkaar. It is said –

“The way when water and fire come contact each other, water becomes hot and fire becomes a little cold (less intense); same way when jad (buddhi) comes in contact with chetan (atma), chetna manifests in buddhi and as atma comes in contact with jad-buddhi, jadata (sense of doership and bhoktritwa) manifests in atma (Balkand 7-37, Adhyatma Ramayan).”

When universal consciousness (paramatama) having come in contact with budhhi feels itself as Karta and Bhokta, it feels limited by the capacity of body and mind and is called a “jeeva”. This ‘jeeva’ feels as if it were an entity separate from everything and everyone around. This feeling of separateness and being limited is what is referred to as “ahamkaar”.

But being reflection of parmatama (infinite) in buddhi, ahamkaar or jeeva aspires to become infinite and being associated with buddhi (limited) can never succeed in doing so. And this is the whole struggle! This manifests in feeling of inadequacy, insecurity, lack of purpose, hollowness or emptiness within. Osho says, “jeevan ki ekmatra samasya, bheetar ka khalipan (only problem in life is emptiness within)”.

Not knowing this, out of ignorance, ‘jeeva’ tries to feel itself bigger and bigger with the help of acquisitions in the external world. One tries to achieve excellence in any aspect connected with body (sports, beauty, figure etc.) and mind (relationships, knowledge in various fields like literature, science, management etc.). One wishes and tries to excel (do better than others) in one’s field of activity – try to become bigger and bigger politician, businessman, scientist, dancer, painter etc. But feeling of emptiness does not leave one, whatever one’s attainments are. It is an effort in the wrong place as the emptiness is within and cannot be filled with things and relationships outside. Further this effort to surpass others gives rise to competition and triggers emotions like jealousy, depression, anxiety, violence etc.

In due course, experiencing suffering and failure to succeed in attaining completeness (being infinite) through efforts in the external world, buddhi comes to understand the futility of this effort. This lead mann to vairagya and opens itself to other possibilities. Then from the one’s who know (saints) and scriptures, one finds the path for inner exploration and experiences the self (infinite) – ahamkaar is dissolved in consciousness (paramatama).

Mind (of which Buddhi is an aspect) is thus a friend which helps one to achieve vairagya (takes it beyond its preferences and prejudices), decide to follow the path of inner exploration and take one to a stage from where, with grace of guru, one can experience what is beyond it (buddhi). It is something like a computer connected to worldwide web (www) through internet. One can then download other applications from the web (existential intelligence) and is not limited by the installed applications (information stored in the brain and its processing).

Beware of mind – it survives on suffering

While passing through difficult phases in our lives, some of us come in contact with some spiritual aspirant or a Guru. He tells us some practice (reading of some scripture, chanting some mantra, pranayam, meditation etc.).

Most of us who seriously pursue a practice often have some positive experience (beginner’s luck) soon and one thinks, "Oh my problem is over!" In that state, for many, external situations do not seem to matter any more. But soon the negative state returns. We ask our mentor, he asks us to continue. We continue for a while and start feeling disillusioned, doubt our own experience, doubt efficacy of the practice and in many a case give it up.

This is a limitation of sakaam sadhana (practice with an object) that when expected results are not achieved, one starts getting frustrated and one’s belief is shaken (this is also often shown in films and TV serials). But this is how most of the people start. Of course, gradually one is led into nishkaam sadhana (practice without an object) – practice itself becomes a source of joy and not a means for that.

This is a common experience and therefore a clearer understanding of the matter will help many. In this connection, I would narrate experiences of a few friends.

One of my young friends is afraid of darkness and ghosts, disillusioned with his work environment and does not find any meaning or purpose in life. I directed him to Supeji who advised him to write "Sri Ram Ram Ram" and chant Tarak Mantra “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare.” He chanted the mantra and it worked very well for him. In a couple of month’s time he sent me a mail asking me how to control his ego as his memory has increased 20 times and there is lot of improvement in his concentration and grasp and consequently he considers himself to be superior to everyone around! I told him forget about that and continue with the practice. Soon his negativity was back, he could not concentrate on his studies, he had so many questions to ask (questions exist only in the troubled mind – not when one is happy) and wanted to give up the mantra. Fortunately, after repeated chats, he is continuing. God bless him!

Another friend of mine had left her job. Joined another one and left that also. Thereafter she did not have anything meaningful to do (desire to do something and earn was strong) and felt frustrated and depressed. I took her to a few masters. One of them gave her a mantra. When she started chanting it, she could not stop crying for a few days. I asked her to continue as this was a process of unburdening of sub-conscious mind (a kind of catharsis). After a few days she felt quite light. Later she was given Tarak Mantra by Supeji and she started doing it.

I also persuaded her to attend a 4 day meditation course conducted by Nithyanandji. She was averse to the idea of staying in the Ashram (quality of accomodation and hygiene not being of the standards she is used to) but somehow went. A day later she rang up my wife to tell, “Abhi aakar Swatantra ki khub pitayee karungi, kahan fansa diya!” as on first day there is much of preaching with a view to reorient one’s thinking and problem of adjustment in new environment is also there. Completed the course in another three days and remarked “Swatantra, howsoever, one may try to resist, he has such a power, if one is there with him for a couple of days, one would fall in love with him”. Obviously her experiences in meditations were quite rewarding (inspite of her reservations). She continued with one of these meditations for a few months.

Thereafter she went to Mungale Sir, who asked her to read Ramayana. She started reading it. On some days she felt ecstatic and told me how while reading Ramayana she gets revelations (some old question or confusion suddenly gets resolved) and she experienced the state of timelessness. She also told me that even though the external situation remains, as it was, it does not matter to her any more. Only a couple of months when she asked me, “How are you?” I said what I usually say, “Masti mein as usual!” Her response was wonderful! She said, “Wait I am also coming there!” I was very happy that she is finally arriving.

She has continued with one or more of these practices for more than two years (earlier she had done a course with Sadguru Jaggi Vasudeva but did not continue with that for long as closing eyes triggered fear in her – this also reflects on the repressed emotions buried within, which require to be cleared before one can breath free). The situation on work front did not show any improvement and it deteriorated on the home front.

A couple of days back, she rang me up to tell that she does not find any point in continuing with these practices as without them also the situation could not be any worse. One has to stay clear of this dangerous logic churned out by the mind. Practices are required to come out of the negative states of mind. In negative states mind tries to deceive one by getting one convinced about inefficacy of the spiritual practice. If one drops the practice, one will continue to be in a miserable state enabling the mind to continue to retain control. This is the way it continues to be relevant (need to plan and do something is there only when there is some problem, i.e., one is not happy and contented) and it thrives only on crisis and sorrows. In blissful state it is dissolved!

Yet another friend of mine had a number of problems on home front as also on work front. She wanted shortcuts and was averse to any serious sadhana which I suggested. She faced the problems boldly and with confidence for some time. Thereafter, over a period of couple of years, situation continued to deteriorate and finally she broke down (mentally as well physically). Circumstances thus forced her to give in and she took to meditation (for which she must have been destined) and received blessings of Gurus. Within three days, one of her major problem was over. I told her that the God has given her a positive signal so soon just to motivate her and that she should continue. She said, “Yes sir, I also feel that way”. After a couple of months another of her major problem (most pressing one) was over. I again told her to continue which she did.

With passage of time, as is usual, she took the major positive changes for granted and the remaining problems (which no doubt are serious) appeared to her to be too huge (there was no change for the worse) and she often felt depressed. The mind again reasoned that there is no use of the practices and she wanted to discontinue them.

Now this is surprising that a person expects transformation in one’s mental state or external circumstances (these are consequences of actions of past many lives) in a few months or a couple of years whereas one devotes 20 years of life without any complain for just gaining working knowledge to make a living which all wild animals do without making any fuss about it. But when it comes to one’s real transformation – ultimate purpose, one does not have patience.

Osho used to say that sometimes after a week or so of meditations (chaotic breathing, jumping and crying – his meditations for the beginners involve that) many a participant asks that I have been doing it for so many days and I have not yet experienced state of Samadhi or God.

Sadhana should not be burdened with expectations. One day a friend of mine went to a Guru. Seeing him the Guru remarked, “Appaki sadhana per bahut bojh hai! Bojh hataiye, isko halka kariye (There is lot of burden on your sadhana. Remove the burden, make it light” Later that friend told me that it is true. Whenever he was meditating before leaving for the Airport or for some other work, he used to think that let check-in, immigration and security check be fast. And it used be help.

Sadhana should be done like any other routine activity during the day like going to toilet, eating, watching TV, chating on computer or phone etc., not with a thought that one is doing something great! Then there will be no expectation and no impatience which invariably leads to frustration.

Another very serious problem is that many a Sadhaka do have real and wonderful experiences like revelation and state of timelessness my friend experienced (these are the glimpses of the self which sadhaka will have once in a while) but doubt their reality when the mind is back with all its problems and covers the real self.

Osho used to say that many a disciple when they have experience of peace and joy, ask, “Is it real or an imagination – am I just dreaming?” One is so accustomed and used to sorrows that it is difficult to believe that one could be in a state like that. As a Hindi song goes “Sukh hai ek chhanv dhalati, aati aur jaati hai, dukh to apna sathi hai”. They do not doubt sorrow and do not question it by saying, “Is it an imagination?”

Reality is actually other way round. Our real nature is sat-chit-anand but we have illusion of sorrow caused the mind because of its preferences and prejudices. Real self is just covered by the mental layer. While doing any spiritual practice, sometimes for a moment mind is silent and one gets a glimpse of the self. One should doubt the sorrow (an experience caused by one’s learned ideas of good and bad and consequent preferences and prejudices – a mere idea having no substance) and not the experiences of peace and joy (a revelation of one’s true nature). Having tasted it once, one should continue with the practices.

But of course, the sub-conscious and unconscious layers of the mind have accumulated suppressed feelings of deprivation, hurt, guilt, anger etc. of a number of lives. When one takes up a spiritual practice and conscious mind becomes a little peaceful, the rarified space allows suppressed feelings from the sub-conscious layer to get released through the conscious mind. It is painful. But this is the only way. No miracle will happen!

If one goes through the autobiographies of the evolved one’s, one would find that all of them had to pass through this painful process. It is also described as dark night of the soul.

One Ms Sobha Rajgopal Menon (shikshika0@rediffmail.com), a follower of Ram Chandra Mission (Chennai) has shared her experiences in the form of her spiritual autobiography in a book titled as “Joy-ride towards divinity”. At times (for long durations of many months) she used to feel to be in close communion with her master and feel ecstatic. But a few times she had long bouts of depression so much so that she had to leave her job also. She persevered and finally she could call it a “Joy-ride towards divinity”.

Perseverance and patience are the keys. To pass through difficult phases, one can help oneself by continuing to be in contact with the fellow travelers and the Gurus.

One should also understand that if one gives up a spiritual practice or contact with guru, what better alternative does one have (an activity perceived to be useless because of ignorance is any day better than a negative one)? In that time, one will relive the negative experiences again and again and thus strengthen them – as anything we pay attention to is empowered. With time, they will be replayed with more intensity, taking the person deeper and deeper into sorrow.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, if one believes that what one is going through is the result of one’s own past karmas and thereby does not have anger, ill-will and hatred against others, negative karmas are worked out and one is left lighter. On the contrary if one does not accept it; the anger, ill-will and hatred will be recorded as new negative karma (called ‘Agami’) which will fructify in a new negative circumstance or relationship in this life or a life hereafter.

Shastra pathan, satsang and following Guru’s instructions is the only way to a blissful existence which everyone knowingly or unknowingly hankers for.